Nostalgic highs: thinking of ‘Better days’

Posted on by Han_A

We love to reminisce about the past as a species, don’t we? Thinking of better days, whether it was when we were younger and more naïve (a preferred state of living for some but I can’t necessarily relate) or when we had fewer responsibilities on our shoulders and more time to play with. It’s probably one of many things that distinguishes us from animals since – well as far as we know anyway – they don’t come back from hunting sessions and think to themselves ‘remember the days when there wasn’t climate change…’. Or maybe they do, who knows. They do say an elephant never forgets but do they just have impressive memories or do they interact with their memories like we do and experience feelings such as nostalgia and sadness as a reaction? One for any scientist readers to answer if you know! (😉)

Anyway, back out from that rabbit hole of a tangent. I’m very prone to nostalgia these days. Goodness me, all it takes is a good 00s or 90s Spotify playlist (think Destiny’s Child, Missy Elliott and Mario or Sugababes and Misteeq) to take me back and create feelings of happiness. For many of us, it can be a coping mechanism, particularly to deal with the harsh realities of the present. In fact, you see many businesses and industries even capitalising on nostalgia and its power to make money. Think of all the reboots and remakes of old TV shows gracing our screens over the last few years, for example (Fuller House, Raven’s House, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reboot) which rely on the nostalgic, now adult audiences that grew up with these shows for their successes. And as I said, nostalgia is powerful, people will definitely fork out a decent amount of money just to feel it and dwell in happy parts of the past for a period of time.

Nostalgia is one hell of a drug, as they say. And like all drugs, it can be dangerous too. Because, let’s face it, it doesn’t really have much use after a while. There’s a brief hit of euphoria and then, bam – it’s gone. You eventually have to jump of the cloud high it produces and feel the damp earth of reality under your feet again. Secondly, the passing of time doesn’t change actual facts. Our memory can sometimes distort how we experienced certain events – it’s the effect of ‘rose colour glasses’. That is, thinking everything in the past was a ‘better time’ when in fact, if factually compared – you are definitely in that ‘better time’ now! I for example, have many fond childhood memories but I remember youth – particularly around teenage years being plagued with a feeling of powerless and just wanting to grow up already so legally and resource-wise I could do more. It doesn’t mean you can’t reminisce fondly every now and then (God knows I can’t stop you) but don’t get so lost in the haze that you start to lose appreciation for the present, because there is value in the now too!

Perhaps there’s something we can learn from animals, who I assume are more forward-looking if anything. Because we spend so much time looking back when in fact, the future is probably more exciting to ponder on. Yes, it’s unwritten and unknown so lowkey scary in many ways because only God knows what will happen but that’s also its beauty.

*Photo by lil artsy

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What evokes feelings of nostalgia for you? Let me know in the comments 🙂

Thought of the Day: Believing in good days

Posted on by Han_A

Recently I’ve been thinking more about the ‘science’ (for lack of a better word) behind a bad day. Is purely it psychological, triggered by a series of external events or a perhaps mixture of both? Perhaps it works sometimes more like a self-fulfilling prophecy where if you think ‘oh boy, this day is gonna be bad’, it ends up being one?

My thinking down this ‘good day’ rabbit hole got me thinking about my previous post about being a morning person. Update from that post – I’m still not one so the struggle continues (I know, very sad.) However, I have started to realise the role mornings play in really helping set the tone for the day. The time to meditate, pray and do the occasional stretch (if I’m lucky) can really be a game-changer.

Of course, it may be possible to still start your morning right and have unfortunate series of events still warp your day into an unenjoyable one but there’s not much you can do about that.

When you’re lost in the heavy fogginess of a bad day it’s easy to mentally checkout and feel like you might as well as strap yourself for a day that is going downhill. At your lowest, you develop the opposite of rose-coloured glasses and start to feel mentally that your energy and patience levels are draining away. I would say planning little pockets of joy throughout a bad day is vital. These are just small things to look forward to and keep you going. Maybe it’s ensuring you listen to your favourite podcast or playlist as you work, saying a little prayer or texting a friend you know you can rely on for a dose of humour. Often when I’m stressed or feeling quite overwhelmed when I work, I’ll blast on some guilty pleasure tunes and let them fill the room. I know I can also always rely on a few close people to fill me with encouragement if I confide in them about the struggles I’m having that day. Sometimes it’s tough love but ultimately it’s good to get a different perspective since maybe the solution to turning your day around is easier than we think.

And for those reading this struggling with this week, wondering if good days are coming/ever returning, I promise you, they are. I can’t predict when but they’re coming so hold tight!

*Photo by Maria Oswalt on Unsplash

The Musician

Posted on by Han_A

‘Play us another song’ they chanted

And though he silently groaned

His heart longed to play a song to take them on

the journey of love and redemption he had traveled

Which had brought him to this very night

He strummed his pain with his fingers

And it lingered, warm and tender in the air

Palpitable through every family of notes he sang

When done, everything and nothing remained unsaid.

*Photo by Gabriel Gurrola on Unsplash

TOTD: The missing bestie

Posted on by Han_A

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” – Proverbs 18:24

I feel like every year I learn something new and insightful about friendships. I strongly believe they have a God-ordained part in your life and are important for nurturing character and gaining wisdom. Every time I leave the house, I take a portable charger with me. The charger itself needs to be charged in order to boost my battery on the go. In the same way, we feed into other people, we need other people to feed into us – mentoring us, providing us with love and direction.

However, when I was younger, I remember being highly concerned that I didn’t have a best friend. You know, a BFF (best friend for life), a ‘bestie’. In children’s books, TV shows and even toy advertisements for girls, this idea of having a best friend who you always do everything and anything with is very prevalent. You make friendship bracelets for each other, go for sleepovers all the time and have birthday parties together. It filled me with a slight longing and sadness that I didn’t have one. Sometimes I thought am I missing out on something here?

Although, for the record, I did have a best friend when I was in my starting years of school (so around three to five years old) but we later lost contact when her and her family moved out of London. To be fair, last time I checked, long-distance relationships were not children’s strong point!) After that I just flittered between friendship groups at school like a social butterfly, gaining company where I could but not always feeling like I fully belonged anywhere.

I never really bothered giving anyone the label after that. Not because I didn’t want to but out of the fear that it wouldn’t be a mutual feeling; i.e. you call someone your best friend but to them, they actually think someone else is their best friend. To me that just sounded nightmarish since the whole point of ‘best friends’ to me was the element of a mutual agreement of your place in each other’s lives.

Yet, as I’ve gotten older it’s concerned me less as I find the pleasure many may get in one best friend in multiple people. I think my introverted nature also often means I enjoy my own company too, a lot more these days. In moments alone you find an incomparable peace, and for me, I am reminded of a God I have, who is everywhere and will never forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:8) So although I may feel it sometimes, am I ever truly alone? Probably not.

*Photo by Walter Randlehoff on Unsplash

Confessions of a former bookworm

Posted on by Han_A

These days the struggle for me to stay in a book cannot be understated. I’ll read about one page typically and then think to myself ‘this is okay but how long until the next chapter?’. And having that thought x100 whilst reading a book is often what will put me off or make the book a longer read than anticipated. If the book is unlucky, it may come to a point where I have to consider if I’m enjoying the book enough to continue or would I rather ditch it for a fresh story

However, once in a while, you do come across a book and reading it is sooo easy. You slide through it as butter does on bread and I can pleasantly share, dear readers that I am currently in that moment.

You see, it was never always like this. Right up until college/sixth form, (so 17ish years old) I would say I was a typical bookworm. Always lurking around library bookshelves and Waterstones looking for the latest good read. I loved a good romance Young Adult novel but absolutely lived for a psychological thriller or sci-fi one. The Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness, The Hunger Games trilogy (and yes, the films aren’t as good as the books), Noughts & Crosses by Malorie Blackman, the list really does go on. In fact, I think I may have written this review in the past during that time of my life.

But now…I remember at university trying and failing on multiple occasions to read for leisure, I think by that point my brain had resolved to reading things for studying purposes only, so reading even more for leisure wasn’t quite something it felt willing to do at the time. This doesn’t mean my love for books has ever faded. For a while after uni, I would read graphic novels, dip into poetry and read short story collections instead to ensure I was still feeding what remained of my reading habit. I still love a good bookshop haul but it does mean my purchases will inevitably take a while to get read. In fact, I think I purchased my current book a few years ago but hadn’t yet brought myself around to read it. Over the years I’ve started and paused (I use this word with the optimistic outlook I will return to them at some point) with many books which, as of writing, sit on a shelf behind me neglected and hoping for a second chance.

I can also be quite a slow reader so my bookworm friends will casually ask what book I’m reading and it will likely be the same one I was reading when I last talked with them a month before. I’ve always been embarrassed by this in the past but to be honest, it is what it is. I like to savour words and what’s happening in every scene and can’t always do that if I’m whizzing through a book at 100mph. I think this priority of the number of books you read is mainly social media driven since ‘bookfluencers’ tend to encourage reading at mass with their one-book-a-day or one-book-a-week type challenges which, for obvious reasons, I’ve never partaken in.

Anyway, rant over.

My current read is Such A Fun Age by Kiley Reid and it has brought me back in reading mode and I’m living for it. I thought to myself whilst recently in the book ‘that’s the reading Hannah I know and love. I knew she was in there somewhere!’ Typically, I usually fall asleep to a Netflix drama (despite always having a book on the go at my bedside. Don’t judge me.) These days I find myself eagerly snuggling in and pushing my phone aside to reach the book and find out what’s happening next. I may or may not write a review on it but so far, I find the characters enjoyable and the exploration of privilege and race in different contexts a refreshing one.

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Are you a slow reader too? What book are you currently reading? Always open to recommendations so drop them below😊

When tech goes wrong: Red Rose – a review

Posted on by Han_A

TW: This drama contains scenes of suicide

Most of us have a love/hate relationship with our phones – their batteries don’t last as long as we would like them to and the apps on them can often waste much of our time, for example. However, the irritating things aside, we are increasingly reliant on them for everyday life – I can barely remember birthdays or my social commitments without mine at this point (the shame, I know.) There’s even a term, believe it or not, for smartphone addiction – Nomophobia, an indicator of just how widespread, if not normal, this phenomenon is becoming in our lives.

This show cleverly taps into this increasing reliance on technology and takes it to a dark extreme. The scariest thing about the whole concept is that it’s not even that farfetched when we think about what tech is capable of and the evil many humans use it for.

The Nitty gritty

The eight episode drama follows a friendship group of six students who have just finished secondary school (year 11 to the UK audience /high school) and are celebrating their freedom in their post-exams summer. Or so they should be. However, a mysterious app named ‘Red Rose’ has other plans for the group and they must eventually end up fighting for their lives (and those of their loved ones) whilst figuring out who is behind the app.

I want to say I started the drama calm and detached but this is anything but true. In fact – and I won’t ruin too much – but RIGHT at the beginning we witness a mysterious and tragic accident without much context. Immediately your mind races with questions that are painstakingly revealed towards the middle to end of the show. The questions don’t ever really end and what follows throughout the drama is a series of events that appear to be unrelated but are at their core all connected.

It’s not all doom and gloom though – there are banterous scenes with humour dotted throughout which help to ease tension and help you relax, even if momentarily. Scenes of kids being kids which made me smile with nostalgia. For example, the scenes at the beginning where they’re celebrating the end of exams and signing each other’s school shirts or the moment they open their results. Made me think about to that feeling of the world being at your feet and the start of something exciting beginning.

My Verdict

In this BBC drama, nothing is as it seems, so be prepared – it’s truly a Northern twist-turner from beginning to end and I’m not complaining! It turned unexpectedly from a show quickly turned into a binge with me on my sofa at 4am doing the classic ‘just one more episode’ and finishing the series. I would be intrigued to see based on the show’s success (it’s trending at number 9 on most watched UK dramas on Netflix at the time of writing) whether a sequel will be in the making. I won’t be mad if they don’t but I’ll definitely be queuing to watch if they do! Overall, would highly recommend.

Some tweet highlights of people reacting to the show:

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Interested? Check out the trailer here. Watched already? Let me know your thoughts!

I do see some similarities between this show and the Mexican drama, Control Z (also set in a high school and involves tech and blackmail), so for fans of this show who fancy another dose, this will be up your street too. You can read my review of that show here.

Thought of the Day: Ageing with pride

Posted on by Han_A

“Grey hair is a crown of splendour; it is attained in the way of righteousness.” (Proverbs 16:31).

When did we become so ashamed to age? To advance through life, accepting with it the advantages and disadvantages life may throw at you physically and mentally as you go along. We’re in a time where people causally have ‘botox parties’ or have regular injections to fight the signs of aging with the anti-aging industry likely being in the millions, if not billions of pounds. If there’s a way to run and hide from that looming shadow of ‘old age’, boy, will we run.

In particular, I increasingly come across many women who are never forthcoming about their age and it’s a bit of shame. In fact, you’ll often be in social situations where you have to think twice about broaching the topic of age with some people in case it causes offence. Which is actually bizarre when you think about it – surely, I’m just asking a factual question? I suspect the logic behind this taboo, which has emerged over time, to openly say your age when you reach a certain point in your life is due to the fact it makes it all the more real. Many worry, particularly, if they’re presumed by the crowd they’re with to be younger, if their real age is known, will they be viewed negatively now? As ignorant, slow or less able, perhaps? Whether you’re 43, 38, or 51 – that’s something to be proud of, wear that badge proudly. Each year that advances is another reason to be grateful, life is too short to be shrouded in shame about something you can’t control.

Of course, there’s wider societal factors at play here. Firstly, in many societies old age is painted as one filled with loneliness, money struggles and physical discomfort. Don’t get me wrong, the stats do show that these things can indeed become more prominent as you get older but it doesn’t have to define the life you have as you get older (I hope!). If that’s all you hear all the time, no wonder you would be scared to let go off your youth.

The media secondly, doesn’t portray enough instances of older or elderly people living fulfilling lives. Even for many actors and models in their industries, as soon as you reach a certain age, you’re only given the mum and grandma roles. For sports people, you go from being on the pitch, in the limelight to doing the commentator or show hosting jobs. There is undeniably a shift in If you’re heralded in the industry it usually correlates if you don’t actually resemble that age. We need more Mamma Mia-type films – where older actors are thriving and living their best lives, forming more intergenerational relationships (not just with family) and filled with a hope/positivity that keeps them going.

*Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: Breaking the IG façade

Posted on by Han_A

Not every moment you experience will be IG perfect and that’s okay. You’ll be surprised how averse people are to experiencing moments in their raw unfiltered beauty these days. Instead, because of social media, many think of every moment they experience as a potential social media post. Is this Instagram-worthy? And if not, what can I do to ensure that it is? What should the caption be? And so on. It’s fairly common for people to go a location (supposedly for leisure) and then when it comes to taking photos instead of few natural snaps to memorialise the moment it becomes this eventually stressful endeavor to capture the perfect like-worthy shot.

I knew things were very much going downhill when people a year or two ago criticised an influencer who got engaged. She showed an obligatory photo of the engagement ring on her hand and instead of sharing her joy – as she probably assumed would be the response – many people focused on the fact her nails weren’t manicured in the photo. Since then, it’s been a running joke for many people that their partners should give them a heads-up before a proposal so they can get their nails done. What should be a romantic, intimate moment is now, for the most part transformed by this overwhelming desire to ensure the moment is approved by the numerous unknown eyes viewing it on their timeline. A bit of a shame if you ask me.

This is why, a friend and I concluded over brunch recently, not everything needs to be posted on your socials. It’s very tempting, and I can admit I do fall into this trap more often than none. I’ll be bopping to music playing at a gig and think to myself, ‘I should probably post something on my story’. As if people actually care. Regardless of if they do or don’t, the moral of this story is sometimes you just need to put your phone down and enjoy the moment.

*Photo by Omkar Patyane: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-using-smartphone-238480/

2023 is here – Happy new year!

Posted on by Han_A

It’s that time of year when people tie themselves in knots

Jumping through hoops of resolution

Which grow shakier with time

As they pick and prune themselves

Hoping to craft a better person

Than they were only a few hours before

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2022 was a wild ride, and it’s time to strap ourselves in for another (hopefully wild in a good way, of course!) Happy new year, readers! 😊🥰

*Photo by Dmitriy Zub on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: No such thing as can’t

Posted on by Han_A

Aren’t overly positive people slightly annoying at times? Don’t get me wrong, it’s an attitude that’s mostly welcomed and has been many-a-time just what I needed to hear to motivate myself to do things or get through certain situations. Sometimes there’s nothing like a good ol’ ‘Yes we can’ Obama style speech to get us pumped up and feel ready to rule the world. However, at other times I do feel there is a level of positivity people ooze that doesn’t quite concur with the reality around them.

I remember on one random occasion saying to someone oh yeah ‘I don’t do that’ or I can’t do xxx’ and they were like ‘why not? ‘there’s no such thing as can’t’. To me, yes there is. And yes, there should be. I do admire the sentiment of the phrase but I think there can sometimes be a misunderstanding as to why someone is saying ‘I can’t do this’. I’m not saying ‘I’ll never do it’ – because. who knows I one day might! However, I’m speaking in that moment in time and acknowledging I have a gap in my ability – no I can’t do this xx CURRENTLY.

But let’s also keep in mind that just because it’s something you could in theory master or learn how to do, it doesn’t mean you should. We’re only one person with 24 hours a day and numerous responsibilities, at the end of the day. So we should pick carefully what we pour our time and energy in or give attention to.

I think being realistic and acknowledging your limitations in such a way can be empowering. I would even go as far to say not many of us do it enough. It may be a downer for some people but in all honesty that’s how you grow – you group things in different categories; primarily ‘things you can’t do’ and ‘things you can’ and then you may one day wonder, how can I tranfer this item from the ‘can’t category to the ‘can’ one?. And thus, a journey of discovery and growth begins.

*Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash