Because #Blacklivesmatter

May the fire within you

Light the path before you

On the road to change

People are tired and want change. Or more specifically, BLACK people are tired and want change. We’re tired of seeing on a regular basis black bodies plastered on our social media timelines.  I sincerely hope leaders are wise and remember once again why they are in power.

Yes, all lives do matter but we want to reiterate that BLACK LIVES MATTER simply because in world where that should be obvious it is clearly not. Unarmed black citizens are dying at the hands of the police; an institution tasked with protecting them. Powerless, in pain and with no dignity; no one deserves to die like that.

It is important to note that although George Floyd’s death was the tipping point for the unrest and protests currently happening the problem reaches far wider than police brutality. From the criminal justice system, to healthcare systems and the job market, black people face institutional racism at every turn.

For example, when it comes to police it is likely that the way they are trained coupled with personal biases plays a part in dictating how they perceive threat. This means that saying these incidences are caused by a few ‘bad apples’ is not correct; all officers are trained this way and are made to follow these practices. This means technically they are all capable of committing many of the so – called isolated incidences we often see go viral.

I’m excited about the current surge we see – black people uniting for a common cause and a hunger for change. However, I will be more hopeful once I see those in power being more proactive and helping to accelerate the cause. I sincerely hope this is more than a moment and that we continue to push and be persistent. The UK is yet to see as much breakthrough as our American counterparts; partly because we live in a society that is very stubborn when it comes to the subject of race. However, I remain hopeful; since without hope there is no change.

For my fellow Christians, keep praying – God is in control and the giver of ultimate justice. It’s important that our hearts hate oppression as much as his did.

We are called to speak out against evil when we see it. Whoever said Christianity shouldn’t go alongside political activism lied to you. Yes, we should pray but that shouldn’t be all we do!

Lastly, I would just like to say we need CHANGE. Actual CHANGE. I’m tired of performative gestures, they’re very cute but literally last a minute in the grand scheme of things. Adding the hashtag and blacking out your IG last Tuesday was very nice but we’ve already seen plenty of incidences of companies and influencers who have done this insincerely. I remember randomly seeing a video of some white police officers kneeling before a group of black people and apologising. Once again, very nice but ultimately meaningless. You are part of an institution and therefore have the power to create some REAL ripples within the police force. Start an internal movement, gather like minded officers and place pressure on management – think smart, people!

Education is your friend so keep reading and educating yourself; KNOW what you’re campaigning against and if it isn’t your lived experience then find out – read some Malcolm X, MLK Jr, Audre Lourde, bell hooks etc. and discover how life looks through a black lens. What forms discrimination takes and how it affects lives.

Netflix recommendations: When They See Us, Seven Seconds and Fruitvale Station. Also episode three of Trial by Media which focuses on a police brutality case.

Donate. Sign Petitions. March if you can. Share and amplify black voices and work.

A link to some resources are below:

Great article on what UK citizens can do:

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/how-to-support-anti-racist-charities-uk-black-lives-matter-a9545986.html

Resources card kindly created by someone on Twitter (likely to be more US based):

https://moreblminfo.carrd.co/

Ways to help the UK #BLM movement:

https://blm.crd.co/

An Honest Review: The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez

 

Trials of Gabriel Fernandez poster

TW: References to child abuse, neglect, physical abuse and domestic violence

I write this review with a heavy heart. In all honesty, I haven’t even finished this docu-series – I started today and am on episode 5 out of 6 – but I feel so strongly about the content that I will write a review of my thoughts so far anyway.

I myself wasn’t aware of the case of Gabriel Fernandez before this series. However, the UK is not a stranger to such cases, with the case being reminiscent of the ‘Baby P’ case in London that received heavy media coverage and exposed numerous flaws in our social system services which helped to enable the abuse. In summary, Gabriel died at 8 years old in 2018 after several months of abuse at the hands of his mother and her boyfriend. The case covers the trial of the perpetrators but also looks more widely at systematic flaws that prevented the abuse from being stopped. The series covers so many themes I could not possibly do it justice or unveil all my thoughts; however – I will try and do my best!

One thing that was different about the reaction to this case was that the District Attorney of LA decided to prosecute the social workers who were aware of or working on the case. Initially, when I heard about this I applauded in my head – the logic behind it seemed straight forward; they were made aware of the chain of incidences which clearly indicated removing Gabriel from his home was necessary but yet they failed to act accordingly. However, as the series progresses it seems that prosecuting the social workers seem insufficient in comparison to the size of the problem. One of the colleagues of the tried co-workers states she thinks they are scapegoats in this case and I suspect she might be right. After all, several members from the sheriff’s department also visited Gabriel’s house – the site of the abuse – and failed to intervene or detect such abuse was happening. So why weren’t the visiting police officers arrested? If you’re going to use that same logic to arrest certain parties then use it consistently and arrest them ALL. It does indeed seem suspicious that law enforcement received such immunity.

It is also quite annoying that systematic issues within large organisations are highlighted but never dealt with. By arresting and firing different staff within bureaucracies the problem doesn’t automatically disappear. If the system is inherently flawed then those staff will be replaced by people that will only continue to enforce the flawed system. Authorities need to put it in the leg work into changing work cultures, changing legislation and conducting appropriate reviews on their operations. Systematic change won’t happen overnight but if the failures aren’t properly addressed another tragedy could strike until it happens.

Something that struck me throughout was that not a single person – his teacher aside – thought to speak or interview the victim himself, Gabriel. If the police or members from social services wanted confirmation of details or verification of Gabriel’s welfare or state of mind – they asked the parents. This fact frustrated me because Gabriel was eight. Of course in some cases the children are too young to adequately express themselves but that wasn’t the case here. If Gabriel had just been given the chance to speak confidentially to someone things may have been different. Abuse typically thrives on secrecy. If the parents themselves are the perpetrators then, of course, they would say whatever’s necessary to ward people off the scent of their crimes. And that’s just what they did. The failure to consult Gabriel or actually listen to his cries – he was actually quite vocal about his abuse -indicates a wider problem. Where in the midst of everything the children are ironically forgotten; or the adults around them make the decisions affecting them but they themselves are never consulted. In this case, prioritising Gabriel’s mums right to custody of her child over Gabriel’s safety/welfare and right to live ultimately cost him his life. If predominately dealing with children such services need to adopt models with children and their rights at the centre.

Although I would recommend this docu-series, I would definitely warn that this is by no means an easy watch. It will make you feel uneasy, angry and frustrated. On the plus side, it does dig deep into the wider issues that Gabriel’s case highlighted. They also interview a wider range of experts and people involved or affected by the case – from a journalist that broke the story to one of Gabriel’s classmates who continues to mourn for him. Not many stones are left unturned and this is helped by the fact it a docuseries. If you feel it may be intense, simply take it one episode at a time but definitely do give it a watch.

The trailer for the Netflix docu-series can be found here.

 

Lean on Me

This weekend I watched on amusingly on the train as a mother walked onto the train with her four children. All the seats were taken so they stood in the space in between the seats. Three of the kids stood in front of me and I observed their conversation as the train was starting to move. Two of three children were holding onto the handrails tight bracing for the train’s movement. However the youngest child – he couldn’t have been older than six- was adamant he didn’t need the handrail to support him; despite constant nagging from his older siblings. As the train moved along steadily, I continued to watch as he beamed proudly, strategically using his body weight to stand handrail free- despite the unnecessary effort he needed to do so.

Watching this innocent scenario unfold helped a lot of thoughts I have recently been having fall in place. Why – like the little boy perhaps – are we sometimes so adamant to ask for help or accept help when it’s readily offered to us?

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We’re social beings designed to support and love one another – never whether your storms alone.

I think generally we can be quite proud and stubborn – often thinking we can weather hard times alone. So we suffer in silence, often isolating ourselves from others ironically when we need them most. We also tend to think to ask for help says something negative about who we are; we’re weak, naive, not independent or self-sufficient. But truthfully, it says none of those things. It speaks volumes about the situation, not you. You’re going through a rough time. It’s a tough situation and you can only withstand so much alone; seeking or wanting help is understandable, if not expected.

The Stylist published a collection of issues last year looking back over their work covering the last decade. They published 10 issues featured many of the women that had graced their covers over that time – one of them being Reni Eddo-Lodge (journalist and author most well known for her book ‘Why I’m No Longer talking to White People About Race’.) When reflecting on takeaways from the last decade she said something quite striking to me. She stated, ‘there’s no self-care without community care’; in other words caring for each other is key to our own wellbeing. But more interestingly so she quotes a t-shirt slogan that says ‘Be less capable. You never know who might help you.’

I think her self-care point speaks for itself but her second point on vulnerability is worth reflecting on as I finish this post. The pretence of capability is not always needed; sometimes it’s worth being fearlessly vulnerable. Vulnerable without the worry of judgement, hurt or mockery. If ‘community care’ is to truly happen we need to make sure this does first.

 

To the broken and downtrodden

To those who feel ignored or forgotten

I write this as 2020 is now in full flow.

Some people entered the New Year not filled with the same hope and optimism as those around them.

Perhaps as the fireworks launched on New Year’s the emptiness within you burned just a strong.

Or maybe you enjoyed the night but couldn’t ignore the feeling that someone who could no longer be there should have been by your side sharing the moment.

Maybe you’re entering the New Year jobless; having fallen far from the benchmark of success you set yourself the year before.

Perhaps you look at the New Year ahead and something won’t let you be happy; the uncertainty that the next 12 months may hold fills you with dread.

Just know that you have not been forgotten. You’re in my thoughts. And things will change; it may be a slow-burning change but it will come.

Ghosts of Friendships past

Friendship is a funny thing. Am I the only one that looks down the long hallway that is my past and sees the floating shadows of many former friendships? These are not necessarily friendships that suffered an explosive ending. Most of the time you try to keep in touch but days pass and the next thing you know two years have gone and you’ve barely spoken.  I do see these friends every now and then but the conversation is very brief and shallow, almost as if you’re back to acquaintance (or even stranger) level again. After all, people do change- and much quicker than we know sometimes. Although the joyful memories associated with them bring happiness, you almost have to take time to grieve that individual as you realise the intimacy you shared may not ever be experienced again.

But as the old ends, new ones begin and such is the pain and beauty of friendship.

__________________

 

I hate that we don’t talk

as much as we used to.

Will I ever meet some someone like you

I often wonder.

The spontaneous singing

The endless conversations

the laughing, the moments.

Heart to hearts

All in the past.

 

 

Identity

‘Friendships turn into comparison games.’

This a quote from a line in a book I’m reading which explores identity and I think there’s more truth in it then we all think- I can say this as a fact from personal experience. All my life I’ve been constantly comparing and in envy of others, wishing I was as skinny as them, or smart and as popular as them. 

This sort of jealousy and mindset plagues friendships and can eventually break them if the feelings are strong enough. Which is sad, but undeniably a fact.

So because of all this, I think this summer will be about self-discovery. Finding out who I am accepting, embracing and changing for good (If i need to, of course).

Films I’ve watched  recently? The Paperboy, Compliance (highly recommended), Identity Thief (quite funny and amusing but MUCH longer than it needed to be), The place beyond the pines (technically I slept after a bit (It got boring after Ryan Gosling died), so I have to finish that) and yesterday I watched Match Point.

Sorry I haven’t been blogging frequently I’ve been quite busy- for real this time 🙂

 

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I found this really funny for some reason

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Image from http://sebreg.deviantart.com/art/Identity-Crisis-Cat-328116670