Parenting is something I find to be both equally fascinating and horrifying in equal measure. Note, I say this as a person with parents and observer of such relationships, rather than a parent or parent-to-be. You carrying something in your stomach for nine months and suddenly, after a lot of pain and anguish, it’s staring at you – in all its doe-eyed baby glory. Although I can imagine the euphoria a lot of parents feel in that moment staring at their newborn (‘I made that!’), I could imagine feeling a sense of blind panic too. You’re holding this little, dependent creature with a heartbeat and its own thoughts that YOU now have to take and be responsible for. After that your life changes forever, suddenly you enter parentland, with all of its blessings, stigmas and challenges.

There are no one fits all rules on how to parent (despite what some self-help books may say) so, to some extent, the whole 18 years (+) feels like a social experience with unpredictable consequences. I can imagine it being slightly annoying because with physical health, yes there’s lots of straightforward rules to follow to nurture a thriving child. But mentally when it comes to understand your child and fostering a relationship with them? The rules suddenly become a bit muddy. And to some extent you know but don’t know what you’re getting into but just hope, with God’s aid, the outcome is in your favour.

Parental relationships are the blueprint for all others one forms in their life so there’s a lot of pressure to get them right. I often hear some say, no one knows what they’re doing – they just make it up as they go along, and perhaps that’s an encouraging mindset. Because sometimes you look at people interacting with their children and it just seems like they have it down to an art, but you honestly don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Yes, there may be screaming matches with their child(ren) but there may also be a creeping sense of loneliness, that I can imagine often pervades the lives of many single parents, mothers especially.

Watching the show Ginny and Georgia on Netflix (yes, I had to find an excuse to bring in my latest watch), makes you realise that yes, the art of parenting can in fact be one of the most challenging things in this life. Many parents battle lots of demons personally and that may not end with the entrance of a child into the world. Especially during their teenage years when you’re forced to take a slight step back to give them room to be independent, learn and breathe. The selflessness being a mother in particular requires is quite breathtaking. I’ve seen it in the little things my mum does for me like putting some of her food on my plate or rushing from work to my school assemblies regardless of how inconvenient or tiring the journey. I’m thankful for the sheer patience and hard working my parents have never failed to show. Looking back on life and my childhood, I see the road for them has not always been easy but they’ve waded through God knows, how many storms praying they’ll see a day when my siblings and I were independent and thriving. I can only pray I get the blessing to follow their footsteps in such a way.

______

Do you have any good or funny parenting or childhood memories with a parent? Comment below! 🙂