Kindness requires inconvenience.

Someone from my church mentioned this idea once (I think she was quoting a book) and it’s stuck with me since because it’s simple but very true.

Acts of kindness can often require us to step out of our bubbles of comfort. It’s therefore why the kind option in many situations can be the most unattractive to people. I’ll give the basic example of seating on bus, often there is an encouraged rule to get up for certain people who may need seated support more than you do. For example, those with disabilities, pregnant women and the elderly (who often have mobility issues that makes it hard to stand.) Despite this being common knowledge -it’s on bold stickers throughout most buses and tubes in London – no one actively makes an effort to stand and offer their chair when the time comes. They’re probably thinking ‘hmmm, if I give them my seat then I’ll have to stand on the bus for six stops and it’s already cramped as it is.’ In other words, the sacrifice causes discomfort they can anticipate coming, so to prevent that from being experienced they bypass the opportunity to be kind altogether. It’s quite sad to think about, especially when many actions like this are so easily done.

We should be actively looking for opportunities to help one another. That means being mindful of the environment around you – not just having headphones plugged in and oblivious to the world. I remember on a cold winter night last year running as fast as I could for a bus and missing it even though I was a few metres away. I was very annoyed and worried after that because the next bus wasn’t coming for a very long time. When I finally reached the bus stop I saw several people sitting down just completely unaware of my struggle, even though they may have seen me try to chase the bus. Imagine the difference to my night one of them may have made if they had done the simple gesture of holding the bus whilst I approached the bus stop? I don’t think it even occurred to one of them to do that but that’s what I mean by being active in looking for opportunities to help others. Sometimes you have to be creative, use initiative or go slightly beyond your realm of comfort.

If you’re so engrossed in looking at your nails or watching a YouTube clip, you may not notice that the person next to you is in need of help in some way. That’s because, nine times out of 10, people will not vocalise their need for help – body language and observation of unfolding events are needed to realise you may be needed in the moment. Even if you can’t help in that moment simply showing concern and asking ‘are you okay?’ or ‘are you in need of help?’ can be reassuring to someone. Especially in cities where selfishness breeds hostility, those words can be a pleasant breath of fresh air.

With this week marking the start of the new year – if you’re resolution list is looking empty, who not start simple and try to help more people this year?

*Photo by Vie Studio