Don’t you just love it when a good plan comes together?

It’s a peaceful night. You’re out with your friends enjoying life, sipping a drink and chatting away in a restaurant and thinking about how you love moments in life like this. The joy. The chat. The food.

You know who also loves a good plan coming together? Your planner friend.

We all have them. The friend in the group chat who drives forward plans, determined to make them a reality beyond everyone just saying ‘it would be great to catch up sometime’. They’ll do polls and send lots of replies, nudging everyone to get involved or send them money for an outing. They’re driven, they’re doers, and yes, they can be impatient, but they’re also efficient and can be trusted to get the task done. They’re close to priceless when it comes to planning important life events like baby showers and hen dos (bacherlettes and surprise birthday parties.) In fact, it’s in those moments their skills and organisation levels shine brightest.

However, as a self-identified planner friend myself, I write this to say, sometimes your planner friends need a break! They can’t always be the ones trusted to be proactive and make things happen. Although they can do it, are good at it and may often even get joy out of it, IT DOESN’T MEAN THEY SHOULD ALWAYS DO IT. What can then happen is that some friendship groups may fall into a dynamic where they over-rely on the planner to make things happen. If that friend can’t make the event, then the plan doesn’t happen, or it does but is shoddily planned and executed.

Enough is enough. Treat your planner friend once in a while (if not, more) and show that they can put their feet up. That their love for their friends isn’t unrequited – effort is taking place on all sides other than theirs. I get it, we’re all busy people and have lots going on in life. But it does sometimes get to a point where you have to evaluate your capabilities and time. What are you prioritising? Surely not everything in your diary is inflexible and important? A quick shuffling around of commitments can sometimes be all it takes to free up your time to do some planning. And that’s if planning even needs that much time, often the steps towards making a social happen can be quick and easy with minimal time needed (once a plan has been decided, that is!)

If the planner friend never catches a break, then there can be a danger of resentment building. And trust me, it’s only when the planner friend takes a step back or decides to ‘retire’ that you realise just how important a role they played in the friendship group.

Moral of the story: Give your planner friend(s) a break. They are valuable, so treat them like it!

*Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

_______

Any other planner friends in the house? Let me know your experiences below so we can find our tribe.