Tag: Growth

Thought of the day: Observer of change, woman of growth

Posted on by Han_A

Every now and then I dip in and out of Facebook which I’ve had since I was a teenager. It’s weird because many things that happen remind me of how much things – particularly the people I grew up with – have changed.

I find myself, for example, unliking a lot of pages that I previously loved/eagerly followed when younger or randomly wondering who some of the people I’m ‘friends’ with are. Back when I was more active on the platform, I had a weird obsession with getting to 1,000 friends – it literally means nothing, just a random goal that I was determined to meet. I did reach it over time but, as with many milestones you create in your mind, nothing happened – no pot of gold dropped into my lap or whatnot (sadly).

I increasingly realise with each scroll that growth is inevitable and is actually more evident than I like to think it is. My community of friends and what I’m into are evolving. I’ve probably not realised it since I often feel like more of an observer of change on the platform – everyone is having babies, getting married, or proposed to – with lots of cute pictures to announce such, and I’m just there…

But as I unliked a page recently and viewed one of those ‘memories’ from Facebook which remind you of what you posted on a specific day several years ago, I realised perhaps I’ve grown more than I thought I have.

Perhaps, the world isn’t just passing me by – a runaway train I missed the chance to jump on.

Perhaps the transformation I’ve always seen as something I could only glimpse from a distance is closer than I realise.

There’s comfort in that and enjoyment in hoping that change continues on a positive trajectory as I seek to discover what on Earth it means to be ‘me’.

Have you had a moment of reflection recently on how much or in what ways exactly you’ve grown? Feel free to comment and share 🙂

Photo by Tobias Dziuba

Thought of the Day: Hindsight is always 20/20

Posted on by Han_A

There is a power in the passing of time. Moments and memories that were once fragile or sore scabs in the mind, heal with time. I find the that ultimate sign of this happening successfully is when you can look back at a once painful or embarrassing moment and laugh at it. It no longer has a hold on you, its grip loosening with each laugh.

Similarly, choices that were not so wise can be viewed with clarity when once upon a time reflection was too painful or you were blinded with regret. Former contestant from popular Netflix reality TV show, Love is Blind, Iyanna on a podcast talked about this when asked about her relationship with the person she was married to on the show. They’ve now split up but reflecting on the relationship as time has gone by has helped her realise and notice things she didn’t before. In a way, it has unexpectedly helped her healing journey. Time passing allows you to find perspective, and see the memory from a different point of view. Yes, time doesn’t heal all scars but there’s something beautiful about its ability to aid the process.

However, it does mean in the process of going through difficult or uncomfortable times patience is needed. There will be a time you’ll look back on that particular period and only gain strength from it. From the fact you endured and came out the other side, despite the fact you thought it may not be possible. Or perhaps you may look back and think ‘Thank God I’m not there anymore’ and, to be honest, that’s okay too.

*Photo by Thomas Grams on Unsplash

Thought of the day: The missing bestie

Posted on by Han_A

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” – Proverbs 18:24

I feel like every year I learn something new and insightful about friendships. I strongly believe they have a God-ordained part in your life and are important for nurturing character and gaining wisdom. Every time I leave the house, I take a portable charger with me. The charger itself needs to be charged in order to boost my battery on the go. In the same way, we feed into other people, we need other people to feed into us – mentoring us, providing us with love and direction.

However, when I was younger, I remember being highly concerned that I didn’t have a best friend. You know, a BFF (best friend for life), a ‘bestie’. In children’s books, TV shows and even toy advertisements for girls, this idea of having a best friend who you always do everything and anything with is very prevalent. You make friendship bracelets for each other, go for sleepovers all the time and have birthday parties together. It filled me with a slight longing and sadness that I didn’t have one. Sometimes I thought am I missing out on something here?

Although, for the record, I did have a best friend when I was in my starting years of school (so around three to five years old) but we later lost contact when her and her family moved out of London. To be fair, last time I checked, long-distance relationships were not children’s strong point!) After that I just flittered between friendship groups at school like a social butterfly, gaining company where I could but not always feeling like I fully belonged anywhere.

I never really bothered giving anyone the label after that. Not because I didn’t want to but out of the fear that it wouldn’t be a mutual feeling; i.e. you call someone your best friend but to them, they actually think someone else is their best friend. To me that just sounded nightmarish since the whole point of ‘best friends’ to me was the element of a mutual agreement of your place in each other’s lives.

Yet, as I’ve gotten older it’s concerned me less as I find the pleasure many may get in one best friend in multiple people. I think my introverted nature also often means I enjoy my own company too, a lot more these days. In moments alone you find an incomparable peace, and for me, I am reminded of a God I have, who is everywhere and will never forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:8) So although I may feel it sometimes, am I ever truly alone? Probably not.

*Photo by Walter Randlehoff on Unsplash