Tag: Love

Rules of Engagement

Posted on by Han_A

LOVE IS IN THE AIR (again)! 💕💖

Is it me, or does it feel like everyone was getting married in late September this year?

Don’t get me wrong, I love love – I was even at a wedding myself recently!

However, it did get me thinking of what I wanted my proposal to look like.

Recently, when talking to a friend who was herself heading to a surprise proposal for someone else, I said I’m happy for my man (when I have one lol) to propose to me on the sofa. She was quite surprised, and we laughed about it because it was clear we had opposing views on this. And maybe sofa is a bit of an understatement – I still definitely want effort and a carefully crafted affair.

The sentiment of wanting it to be a private and beautiful moment – ideally between just us two – still stands. When I think of the idea of public proposals, something about them just increases my stress levels massively. Although they can be a great chance to splash cash and exercise creativity, they’re too ‘in your face’ for a momentous event that shouldn’t really be anyone else’s business.

I remember there was even a TV show for a brief time on BBC Three, which followed an agency which solely specialised in creating public engagement ideas – think flashmobs and bright costumes. Their existence shows the appetite for lavish proposals is huge! Quite questionable to me, but also an unsurprising sign of the times. I do get the appeal, customers that go to them and do these lavish proposals want to scream about their love from the city rooftops. A private affair, perhaps, is doing a disservice and not reflective of their passion for their partner (or so they believe). It definitely screams confidence – to echo Isla Fisher’s quote from Definitely Maybe.

However, for me, when you have a large crowd of people, there’s a natural need to perform and act/respond in a certain way. Most people will say ‘yes’ through teary eyes, but I often wonder if it sometimes feels like slight coercion. So many eyes are on you, waiting for a positive response. They want to cheer and clap and then go about their daily lives, forgetting about you. Yet it’s you who has to live with whatever answer you say in that moment – particularly if it’s not a genuine one. Buy what else can you really say in that moment? I’m not the best actor in the world; if completely blindsided in such a way, I worry that my face will betray me, and annoyance or confusion will show. And not in a cute way.

There’s also an Instagrammification of proposals that also bothers me. They’re literally moments that have ‘fake privacy’, tailored to look good for online posts now. And you can quickly see it when you search for them on the app. I’ve done so, for the research purposes of this post, and can tell you that a solid 95% of them have a standing love heart arch made of roses, and lots of rose petals on the ground. Is there any other way to do proposals these days? Well, according to social media – no. To me, this tarnishes the moment, distorting it to something that’s more for the spectators as opposed to those there in the moment.

No natural way to end this post but let’s make proposals great again, and keep them for an audience of two, please.

____________________________

Do you have any stories of proposals you’ve witnessed, attended or even your own? Would love to hear them! Comment below and let’s chat 😊

TOTD: Don’t be picky with your kindness 

Posted on by Han_A

My current watch on Netflix is a Korean drama called Hierarchy. The series is set in an elite private school. It explores the school’s (toxic) mini-society. The story centres on the protagonist, academy newbie, Kang-Ha, who’s there to turn it upside down. He has an agenda, but it turns out, he’s not the only one. Very riveting watch so far, would recommend. 

One couple in the show (Jae-i and Ri-an); experience a sudden break-up. ‘Sudden’ in the sense that Jae-i doesn’t necessarily explain why the breakup is happening, she just asks for it and goes on her way. Throughout the rest of the drama this activates some possessive monster in her ex, Ri-an, who is keen to win her back at all costs. When that doesn’t work, he decides to sabotage or physically harass anyone who remotely gets close to Jae-i.

I’m coming to the end of the show, and I can’t help thinking Ri-an is a terrible human being. Very self-involved, territorial, and unstable emotionally. However, when we see the flashbacks of him in his relationship with his ex, we see very caring, tender and emotionally vulnerable moments. Them running on the beach. The pair cosying up together on the sofa etc.

This brings me to my main point for today. This trope of the boyfriend who’s brutally mean to everyone except their partner needs to end. Firstly, why is that not a red flag? Even if you’re the most lover of lover boys, why does your kindness and compassion end when you’re not around me or in my vicinity? It’s a big indication of someone’s character if that’s their habit, and not in a good way. 

I suspect this trope comes up a lot because film and TV writers think ‘oooo look, we’re creating a very 3D character/love interest here.’ ‘There’s more to him than meets the eye. Yes, he’s a ravaging bully who destroys souls, but look at how passionately he can love the female lead. Determined to protect her and make her laugh in every way.’ 

I get it, I get it. And yes, we are in desperate need of more complex, authentic characters – emotionally vulnerable and especially male ones. The intention and good idea are there, but with questionable execution, perhaps. 

But if you’re that picky with your kindness and refuse to acknowledge the humanity in everyone other than your partner? Then there’s something sincerely wrong there, so I’ll politely give it a pass. It’s why the dating period is primarily one of observation at the best of times. How does your date speak to those around them? Family and friends are included in that list. But the TRUE test is in the nature of their interactions with those you don’t have any particular relationship or emotional attachment to. Waiters at restaurants. Cleaners in offices and hotels. 

What do you think? Would love to exchange thoughts in the comments! 🙂

Why Your Planner Friend Deserves a Break

Posted on by Han_A

Don’t you just love it when a good plan comes together?

It’s a peaceful night. You’re out with your friends enjoying life, sipping a drink and chatting away in a restaurant and thinking about how you love moments in life like this. The joy. The chat. The food.

You know who also loves a good plan coming together? Your planner friend.

We all have them. The friend in the group chat who drives forward plans, determined to make them a reality beyond everyone just saying ‘it would be great to catch up sometime’. They’ll do polls and send lots of replies, nudging everyone to get involved or send them money for an outing. They’re driven, they’re doers, and yes, they can be impatient, but they’re also efficient and can be trusted to get the task done. They’re close to priceless when it comes to planning important life events like baby showers and hen dos (bacherlettes and surprise birthday parties.) In fact, it’s in those moments their skills and organisation levels shine brightest.

However, as a self-identified planner friend myself, I write this to say, sometimes your planner friends need a break! They can’t always be the ones trusted to be proactive and make things happen. Although they can do it, are good at it and may often even get joy out of it, IT DOESN’T MEAN THEY SHOULD ALWAYS DO IT. What can then happen is that some friendship groups may fall into a dynamic where they over-rely on the planner to make things happen. If that friend can’t make the event, then the plan doesn’t happen, or it does but is shoddily planned and executed.

Enough is enough. Treat your planner friend once in a while (if not, more) and show that they can put their feet up. That their love for their friends isn’t unrequited – effort is taking place on all sides other than theirs. I get it, we’re all busy people and have lots going on in life. But it does sometimes get to a point where you have to evaluate your capabilities and time. What are you prioritising? Surely not everything in your diary is inflexible and important? A quick shuffling around of commitments can sometimes be all it takes to free up your time to do some planning. And that’s if planning even needs that much time, often the steps towards making a social happen can be quick and easy with minimal time needed (once a plan has been decided, that is!)

If the planner friend never catches a break, then there can be a danger of resentment building. And trust me, it’s only when the planner friend takes a step back or decides to ‘retire’ that you realise just how important a role they played in the friendship group.

Moral of the story: Give your planner friend(s) a break. They are valuable, so treat them like it!

*Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

_______

Any other planner friends in the house? Let me know your experiences below so we can find our tribe.

Improve Your Dating Profile: 5 Things Men Need to Change

Posted on by Han_A

Love is in the air! And with Valentine’s Day soon approaching, I’m emotionally preparing for my social media timelines to be flooded with manicured dates, and several rose petal engagement announcements.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love love but at this particular time of year, for those of us single and still searching, it can be quite raw. Almost like a scar that only hurts when prodded.

That being said, I am a romantic at heart, so I do use dating apps, hoping to one day match with the dream person (because, who knows – it could happen). As someone who is a well-seasoned navigator of dating apps (on and off), I’m writing this to men who also use these apps. I’ve had enough of men who are unserious and half-heartedly using these apps.

Here’s five things you need to stop doing on apps this year, please!

  1. Boring conversation

Nothing irritates me more than this.  If you’re just going to waste someone’s time with one worded answers then leave them alone. Every day it’s ‘hi’, ‘how are you?’ on repeat but nothing much seems to happen beyond that and I’M TIRED. Sometimes I think maybe I’m not asking good enough questions, but lately I’ve started to notice that even with questions I’ve intentionally asked to get longer answers some people stubbornly refuse to give them. I did confront someone once when I believed I was asking all the questions and he wasn’t. He immediately got defensive and refused to believe that was true. As you can imagine, that match didn’t last long.

All I’ll say on this is that don’t have half hearted conversations and then wonder why you’ve been ghosted! If you have to copy and paste conversation starters from Google, so be it. Just so some effort because the person you match with cannot get a sense of your interest if you don’t.

2. Not reading people’s profiles

It’s been long said that men are visual creatures. And even if you aren’t necessarily one, dating app interfaces are undeniably created to favour visuals. Photos take up more space on a profile and there’s generally more of them in the ratio of photos to words. What this therefore means is that people that match with you may not read your profile properly before doing so. They’ll just see a photo or two and like your profile.

They’ll likely only read it after matching and realise ‘oh wait – she lives too far’ or ‘oh goodness, she’s looking for something long term and I’m not’. That’s when ghosting may happen, or they may not reply to even begin with. Save yourself the stress and just read the profile in advance before swiping right.

On the flips side, one of my favourite things is when a man matches with me and during the conversation refers to my profile in our chat i.e. – ‘I see you’re a big bookworm – I read this awesome book recently…’ because it shows thoughtfulness and attention to detail. Gold stars all around.

3. Minimal effort profiles

Minimal effort, will get you minimal returns. Yes, say it with me again so it marinates. Put some more effort into your profile, take some decent photos that represent your personality and how you spend your life (i.e. hobbies, outings, friends etcs). Too many profiles from men have one word answers, copy and pasted jokes (God forbid I read another line about pineapple on pizza) and voicenotes that make no sense to any logical human being. It’s gotten to the point where it’s even made great fodder for a social media page (check out @hingeboiz on Instagram).

4. Questionable photos

Many men will use the standard photos of themselves with a dog or baby, to unlock the ‘awwws’ in a woman’s heart. Nothing wrong with that – in fact, I often enjoy these photos. The photos I don’t understand are shots with women that look awfully close for comfort. Yes, men and women can indeed be friends but out of all shots you chose that one?

Other photo choices I find questionable – memes, using the same photo twice or more and gym selfies (can’t explain it but they give me a major ick.)

Also contrary to popular belief – you can SMILE in photos! Whoever told you that not doing so, as man, looks sexier, is lying. You aren’t applying for a post in the navy and we need to see you have a happy side somehow.

5. Not using your real name

Obviously, it’s within your right to choose what name you put on your profile. But may I suggest your actual government name being a good place to start? More and more these days I see people using names that clearly aren’t their real ones. ‘Mr Nice Guy’, ‘Tee’ and other random names. The question therefore becomes, why are you doing this? What are you so keen to hide? If it’s your presence on the app then people will likely figure that out from your photos alone – which are an easier identifier than your first name, by the way. It’s giving, dishonesty; so, a very light red (and unavoidable) flag, if you ask me.

It’s really a miracle I’ve been able to condense it to five points but there we are. If you are using dating apps and feeling a similar way, why not send this article in the direction of someone who you’re talking to, who is wasting your time. Maybe they’ll read between the lines (or the actually lines of this post) and get the message.

Photo by Alexander Sinn on Unsplash

Love or Loyalty? When your heart is divided: A review of A Suitable Boy and Love + Hate

Posted on by Han_A

In a battle over family or love what would end up winning for you?

Most people envision falling in love with people that their family would approve of. But when the chips don’t fall that way (since life always has other plans, after all) – what do you do? Do you risk it all for love or sacrifice that love for your family?

This theme is explored in two things I watched recently; A Suitable Boy and the film, Love + Hate.

A Suitable Boy – the gist:

Series poster with Lata (centre) and her suitors

A Suitable Boy (2020), is a historical BBC drama series based on the popular book by Vikram Seth. It follows young female student, Lata who falls in love with dashing fellow student, Kabir. It’s set amidst the backdrop of 1960s India, so many political events are taking place in the background which fuel lots of the events in the drama. With one of the key events being India’s first general elections, which are slowly approaching.

It starts of with a typical boy meets girl scenario at an Indian university. Lata plays hard to get but Kabir is entranced and determined to win her over. He succeeds soon enough. However, there’s an issue – Lata is Hindu and Kabir is Muslim. The two religions do not get along, yet alone marry, so she knows there’s no way she’ll get her mother’s blessing for the relationship. She battles with this throughout the series, especially as her feelings for Kabir grow. Her friend initially against it does eventually tell her to go for it, but her mother is determined to stop the relationship in its tracks by arranging a marriage for her. To make things juicy, as episodes go on, she attracts – along with Kabir – not one but two additional suitors vying for her heart! Bridget Jones could never. The other two suitors are strong candidates; Amit Chatterji – wealthy and eligible bachelor who is also a published poet, and Haresh Khanna, a British educated shoe maker determined to settle down.

Thoughts

I loved all the characters in this drama – not because they were likable but because they were well fleshed out. It didn’t shy away from exploring themes of religious conflict and violence; something that was ultimately crucial to authentically cover this period of time.

I’m not sure how the book ends but in terms of the suitor Lata chooses in the end, I was quite surprised by her choice. Firstly, you do get the slight sense that Lata would prefer not to be married. She’s a teen who is in love with learning and realistically, probably would have thrown herself into more studies if it wasn’t for the social expectation that she can’t do so – she has to choose marriage instead. There’s also many points in the series where it seems her mum is very much keen to marry her off more than Lata herself wants to get married. Her mum being a widow is an important factor in all of this – it feels, perhaps that she can live vicariously through the new relationships of her children. The engagements and weddings provide her with joy after long grieving her husband and, perhaps, feeling lonely herself.

I had some issues with the series’ ending. The suitor ultimately chosen didn’t seem on brand for the Lata I had grown to know and become fond of throughout the show. It also felt like, she didn’t exactly tie up the loose ends with her other suitors either – she just chose one to be with and went on her merry way. Bit of underwhelming breakup/goodbye considering that she spent 75% of the series talking about them, being with them or thinking about them. But I digress.

Love + Hate: a gist

Next up we have the film, Love + Hate (2005). This is set in Britain and centres on the love story of two teens, Naseema and Adam. They start of working together in a DIY shop with a fairly quick attraction forming. Yet, because this is a film, this attraction can’t be straight forward. In fact, Adam is not a fan of Asians (also known as being a racist), so although attracted to Naseema, he refuses to interact with her. This means he often ignores her questions and even has the audacity to demand that Naseema is fired by the store manager. She’s oblivious to the hostility though, often trying to make conversation and giving him flirty glances here and there.

Like A Suitable Boy, the backdrop is one of great social division – this time along racial lines; with a large anti-Asian and Islamophobic movement active in the area. Adam’s family is bigoted, blaming Asian immigrants for various problems in the area. His mum rants for instance about how her tanning bed business is being threatened by new Asian owned businesses that have opened up the road. He and his brother are very vocal about not wanting to ‘mix’ with the Asian demographic of their city. There’s a scene when they’re at the pub with friends and all jokingly talk about how they would never date an Asian girl. Then one lad in the group disagrees saying actually he would date one – he finds them to be very attractive. He’s met with violence, shouting and is forcefully kicked out the pub and the friendship group. Such is the high penalty for breaking the mold and being a decent human being.

Overall, this was an interesting film but by no means compares to A Suitable Boy. The build up and dating period between Naseema and Adam could have been fleshed out a bit, I think. I wish we saw more banter and conversation between them as they got to know each other. But because it was a ‘forbidden love’ they often had to meet in dodgy locations and for short amounts of time to avoid being caught by people from their respective communities. This didn’t give much opportunity for their chemistry to grow or shine for those of us watching. I’m also not a fan of this implied idea of people being able to ‘love away their racism’ since I don’t believe that’s possible, so it seems ever so slightly irresponsible to encourage that, even if it’s promoted subtly. Adam, who has grown up a bigot and raised with racism embedded values, suddenly falls in love and is suddenly no longer racist? Something tells me that’s not how that works…

Anyway, my overall ratings for both? A Suitable Boy – 8.5/10; strong series and cast just let down slightly by its ending and lack of tying of loose ends. Love + Hate – 7/10 – very gritty and rooted in an idealistic optimism I find it hard to get on board with.

Thought of the Day: Love out loud

Posted on by Han_A

After the Good Friday church service a few months ago, I was chatting with some people from the church after having a meal together. A couple from church had kindly hosted us in their home and served a lovely English roast. The meal was finished so we were in that period where everyone was having chatter while letting the food in their stomach gracefully settle. In the middle of the conversation, one of the children of the adults at the table there burst into the room with an almost pained look on his face, filled with a sense of urgency. ‘DAD, DAD, DAD’

‘What is it, buddy?’ his dad responded.

‘I just wanted to say that I love you!’

It’s a heartwarming moment I still think about. At the time I just laughed since we all panicked originally at the child’s urgency, so the ‘I love you’ felt very cute (if not, a tad unexpected), but also anticlimactic.

It got me thinking though – are we loving the people around us in all the ways and languages we can?

There’s so much power in the verbal declaration of love. It’s one of the reasons weddings are so significant in the journey of a relationship and why they hold so much meaning. Don’t get me wrong, the words alone only hold true when actions correlate but just hearing those words can be soothing and settle the heart. Never assume people know, even those closest to you – they can sometimes, ironically, be the people who doubt you love them the most. And I’m of the opinion there should never be a day your love is doubted by those you believe deserve it most.

___________

How do you best make the people around you feel loved?

Photo by Oleg Laptev on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: Making Time

Posted on by Han_A

Making time for people is definitely a love language.

I mean, speaking personally for me, when someone – as busy as they are – can make that time to accommodate your company or help you in some way it means the whole world. The time may not be very much but you’re aware it may have been difficult to even provide that little pocket of space, so it’s a short but meaningful time together.

In a world where everyone is busy all the time, making time for people, despite this can speak volumes and says a whole lot without saying much at all. Not just about your character, but how you feel about that other person too.

However, not everyone is this way – you often find people that just are always busy and brush off the plans with you because of it. Next thing you know, days become weeks, become months and you haven’t heard from this person. I mean I get it, we all have things to do, but what that tells me is that I’m very far down the priority list. This can be a bit disheartening, to say the least, but, as a silver lining, lets you know where you stand with certain people.

Obviously, depending on what occupies your time, you may have things in your calendar that can’t necessarily be reshuffled or deprioritised, even if you wanted to – and that’s fine. This particularly can be the case for many people with family responsibilities, senior work roles, or both, for example. The next best thing then is to look ahead – ‘I can’t see you or make this date to meet you, but perhaps we can do this alternative date instead?’ The proactivity behind this means the initial rejection you have to provide to that person ends on a positive note. It says ‘I still am keen to see you and invest in our relationship’ and that’s important. That reassurance is all people want and luckily, it doesn’t take much to provide it – just make time for them or display a willingness to.

How could you make more time for the people in your life?

Photo by Malvestida on Unsplash

Mary did you know? (Aka The Christmas post)

Posted on by Han_A

Merry Christmas, everyone!

It feels like the day, although marked on many calendars, has come by surprisingly fast, hasn’t it? Minus all the obvious things that make the season special, I always find its uniqueness amplified by the quiet. Especially in a massive city like London, because public transport comes to a standstill many places become eerily silent, as people resort to sticking behind closed doors. I say quiet, but perhaps peace is a more accurate word. It’s a positive quiet. One that stills the heart and eases the mind – even if unusual and strange to the ears at first.

This Christmas as I read about the origin of the season in the New Testament, I take my mind back to the nativity scene. We see lots of artists’ renditions of this popular scene, who have themselves throughout time tried to recapture the magic. And although many are beautiful in nature, glorious even, they probably still fail to capture the magnitude of every bit of magic present at that moment.

Luke 2:19: But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart (ESV).

Imagine, the stable is dark is slightly smelly with farm animals groaning in the background, probably slightly confused at these strangers they’re being forced to share their territory with. Spots of moonlight shine through and work together with the odd lantern to create a close-to-home atmosphere for Mary and Joseph. Amid all the slight chaos, Mary looks longingly at Jesus with so much love and awe. He coos gently, simmering down after intense crying and the music of his voice is likely strong incense filling the room, even captivating the animals who are observing from a distance.

I love the verse above about Mary from the book of Luke which has stood out to me in the last week. I’ve seen a glimpse of someone I know looking at her firstborn as she was rocking her in a pram and if pure love could be freezeframed, that would be it. Similarly, Mary is tired and likely in pain but trying desperately to savour every moment of that night since she knows it’s the start of something life-changing – not just for her, but as she’s been told by an angel, for the whole of humanity. Her heart is full of joy, vibrating at the seams – unsure of what will happen next but also excited to see future events unfold.

Praying that your day is full of joy and happiness, wherever you are this Christmas! 😊

*Photo by Árni Svanur Daníelsson on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: Why don’t you like me?

Posted on by Han_A

A recent post on Instagram reminded me of the blunt truth that some people don’t like you and never will. The people pleaser in me feels very indignant about that reality, thinking ‘Surely there’s something you can do or say to make everyone like you. Maybe you just haven’t discovered what that is yet.’

But the reality is, it’s not true. And although being unliked can be controlled or addressed in some circumstances, particularly if you (perhaps unknowingly) caused the hostility, sometimes it can’t. It might sometimes be because of factors you can’t control or don’t know, and that can be very frustrating. It can feel like an unsolvable puzzle which, no matter how much head scratching you don’t get closer to finding answers. And it can suck particularly if the hostility comes from someone you think is amazing – it’s just that they sadly don’t view you the same way.

It’s why the Biblical command to love others (John 13:34) can be very trying at the best of times. It’s all smooth sailing when the love and kindness is reciprocated but when others don’t see your worth or like you – how do you just blindly do the same? Even I’m (admittedly) sometimes inclined to like or value people a lot less if I don’t feel they don’t like me. We get a dopamine hit from being loved, appreciated and cared for so it’s very easy to avoid or throw people to the wayside if they don’t give you that feeling through positive treatment. I mean, love between humans will always be conditional in some shape or form – even if we perceive it not to be. (It’s what makes the way God loves us so spectacular and special! 😊).

As humans, alone in our own strength, I’m inclined to believe it’s impossible to love the way John 13 commands. We’ll always need divine help for this. But how others feel or behave towards us should not dictate the worth and value we see in them. As the new year approaches, even if you’re going into it quite indifferent and with low expectations – perhaps we can put on our goal list to have the courage to love others more boldly.

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Series review: Doona!

Posted on by Han_A

One of my most recent K drama watches is the Netflix show, Doona!

Shows that have actors you know and like in them are usually the easiest to sell. In your mind you know the greatness they’re capable of so you consume their new content ready to (hopefully) be blown away again.

This drama has two Korean leads  – one I’m familiar with, Bae Suzy (a great actress who I last watched in the fab K-dramas, Whilst You Were Sleeping and StartUps) and Yang Se-jong.

What is it about?

Main couple: Doo-na and Won-jun

Doona! If I was forced to categorise it falls more into the romance space. I wouldn’t call it a romcom per se, since the main characters are quite broody and intense. However, there is some comedic relief in the form of Won-Jun’s childhood nemesis, Choi I-ra, and his university flatmates.

The series is nine episodes long, which is an appealing number to me, I can’t complain too much about that. I think, if written well, a lot can be covered in that space of time given.

The main characters are Won-jun – a hardworking university student and Doo-na, a young former idol (girl band member) who left that world for mysterious reasons explored as the drama develops. Both of these characters fall in love despite coming from different backgrounds and contrasting quite heavily personality-wise. I’m not sure but I think there’s also a slight age gap between these two characters, with the Doo-na being older.

My thoughts

This is one of those shows that started off quite slow and slow burner content, whether it be books, shows, etc., always leaves me in a bit of a dilemma – do I persevere or give up? Sometimes sticking with it can pay off, but other times you may just be left feeling cheated of your time. Luckily for this show, I did eventually get quite invested in the characters and found it rewarding to witness some slight character development in the main and supporting cast.

With my TV show hat on, Doo-na as a character seemed like she would become what is fondly known as a ‘Manic Pixie fairy’ – a woman that comes into a male protagonist’s life with no story of their own but with the sole purpose of helping the male lead ‘discover themselves’. However, (and luckily) she was written more layered than that, so I was grateful. I won’t lie though and say she was quite annoying and clearly very bored in the first few episodes.

Interestingly, though, she is actually part of a new host of cliché defying characters, in the sense that she starts pursuing Won-jun first. Although it’s not initially reciprocated interest and we’re not entirely sure if she’s just teasing him/leading him on.

My main frustrations:

  • Why Doo-na left the girl group she was a part of felt very unclear. We’re forced as viewers to piece together mysterious flashbacks and vague comments she makes about her past to get an answer. And to me, that wasn’t enough so I got a bit annoyed. She repeatedly kept saying she suddenly ‘couldn’t sing’ anymore, which didn’t make much sense. Was this due to a physical condition? A mental block or lack of will? Who knows. I personally think that there was potential and a missed opportunity to delve deeper here.
  • In a similar vein, it didn’t feel entirely clear to me what the nature of the relationship was between Doo-na and her manager. It’s implied that it was possibly more than professional but it could have rather been unrequited feelings from Doo-na’s end (which is hinted at some point.)
  • Apart from Won-Jun working hard (he takes on 101 jobs whilst studying for his degree, bless him), I don’t think his character was strongly written. I think when he was asked by his love interest, Doo-na what his ambitions are he reply was something along the lines of, he longs to live normally. We do get mention of his family, and see maybe two scenes where he’s caring for his sick sister but no dialogue is featured, which is a shame since this could have been a defining character development moment.

Although I’m tempted to add the ending to that list of frustrations I won’t. I think it can be commendable when writers steer away from simply giving fans what they want and instead stay true to the storyline. The ending was indeed bittersweet but the most realistic ending for those characters and their love story.

Overall, I would give this drama a solid 7.5/10. It’s shot beautifully and every character has a degree of likability which is what, like me, will likely fuel your investment in the drama too, if you decide to watch it.

______

In the mood for some other K drama reviews? Check out some of my past ones here and here.

Image source: https://www.marieclaire.com/culture/tv-shows/the-cast-of-doona-your-guide/