I CAN’T HEAR YOU.

You’re out with a friend, after months of wrangling each other’s diaries for a free date to meet and this is all you keep thinking about as you sit together in a restaurant trying to catch up. Imagine the frustration.

They’re probably telling you about a dramatic day in their job or something heartfelt their partner recently did and you can’t hear a single piece of juicy information because the music is too darn loud 😠. This has happened to me too many times to count in recent months, if not years. It’s gotten to the point where the other day I joked with someone that it seems like 90% of adult life is shouting above music to speak to people. Can’t remember too well but I suspect I shouted that joke above loud music (as if to prove my point is valid.)

This is a common scenario that creates what I’ve recently discovered is called ‘the cocktail party effect’ – the ability to follow and hear one noise amongst numerous others. The only problem these days is that this ‘effect’ is failing – people are not as capable of it as they once were. This article in I news, explores the problem and hints it may be a precursor to hearing loss. According to a study cited in the article, 70% of people have trouble hearing conversations in noisy places – with Gen Z being the worst affected. For me it’s become unbearable to the point I’ll sometimes just sit there helpless in a group and drink my drink, planning my exit, partly to preserve my social battery and partly because I can’t hear a darn thing anyway so what’s the point in speaking. I often see others leave bars and just end up talking in toilets or amongst smokers at bar entrances in a desperate effort to get a quiet place.

I went to an event last week that had NO music in the background (I know, the horror) during its duration and I remember feeling a strange sense of peace. Yes, it was still loud since voices were rising in the air. But was I straining my ears 110% to hear a single word above a Calvin Harris song? No, and it made a massive difference to the connections and conversations I was able to have that night.

The loud music as frustrating as it may be, many might feel like it’s needed. It sets ambiance, a fun mood for the place and the night, as you settle into your seats. What’s the alternative? Just…nothing? That could be more awkward. Although, I see this perspective and am happy with the presence of music, I simply think it could be tuned down a little bit, for the sake of our ears and sanity, please.

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PS: One thing I’ve heard does really help with this issue is ear plugs! I’ll likely be buying some soon, so I’m open to recommendations or any other tips you have for dealing with this.

Photo by Michael Discenza on Unsplash