Can I speak to a human please? My war with tech in customer service

Sometimes I’m certain tech is going to be the death of us all.

At other times I have moments of excitement and intrigue when I think about what new opportunities tech will unlock for us as a species. But today let’s focus on one of the roots of my pessimism. Customer service.

Tech has been used very strategically by several companies to make dealing with customer queries more efficient. Snazzy websites with FAQs, AI powered chatbots and ‘virtual assistants’ online and on the phone who can point you towards the best answer possible. Sometimes they work very well and you think – thank God for that. However, at other times they lead you hopelessly in circles, teasing you with the promise of an answer BUT NOT ACTUALLY GIVING ONE. It’s at those times I have to take deep breaths to protect my sanity and my phone screen (which is one step away from being thrown at the wall).

I recently found myself in need of documents from my bank and was of course advised by the website (one bit of tech) to use the banking app (another bit of tech). I did as I was told but the app actually couldn’t fulfil the demand so after a few tries I reluctantly decided to go to the bank. Even that decision wasn’t made easy because the physical sites of many high street banks are slowly all shutting down. All the ones in my borough of London were closed down, so I had to venture out.

When I got to the bank, after a long journey there and I finally get to see a member of staff after waiting ten or 15 mins, what happens? They ask me if I’ve used the app and if not, if they can show me how to use it. Part of me wanted to scream. What is the point of me being here if all roads lead back to this god forsaken app? Can no service be provided independent of it? It’s enough for me to hopelessly despair at times.

Human, where art thou?

These days there’s a thrill and pleasant surprise to hearing a human voice on the phone. And that’s mainly because companies make you work SO HARD to access one. You have to talk to 101 AI bots who you tell your problem to (in over enunciated English because they understand nothing less), only for them to say they don’t understand a thing you’re say. Repeat this scenario about 3 – 4 times and you have a typical phone call to your bank or utility provider. Humans, of course, have their own problems, sometimes I’ll be forwarded back and forth between teams on the phone like cow on a farm. No, they’re not perfect, but I always feel like I am in slightly better hands and that I’m at least one step closer to a solution.

In terms of human access for customers – it’s a luxury. And, you’ll notice, if you observe carefully, that there’s also a hierarchy. People who are likely to buy new products will always be put through to humans faster. As for existing customers who are likely to be making complaints or trying to be processing returns? You’ll have to jump through a few hurdles. Maybe you’ll get through to a human, maybe you won’t. It’s up to the company gods and what they’ve decided. Sad stuff really – especially when you’re in the midst of it. There’s an incorrect assumption that it’s mainly those that are elderly and/or old fashioned that like to have human customer service. This is not true, young people like myself are increasingly valuing human assistance too. Why? Because it’s not necessarily an age or generational thing at this point.

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Do you have any bad customer service stories to share? Feel free to comment and share so we can release our anger together 🙂

Alternatively feel free to read more of my thoughts on shopping and customer service here.

The Inconvenient Truth About Kindness

Kindness requires inconvenience.

Someone from my church mentioned this idea once (I think she was quoting a book) and it’s stuck with me since because it’s simple but very true.

Acts of kindness can often require us to step out of our bubbles of comfort. It’s therefore why the kind option in many situations can be the most unattractive to people. I’ll give the basic example of seating on bus, often there is an encouraged rule to get up for certain people who may need seated support more than you do. For example, those with disabilities, pregnant women and the elderly (who often have mobility issues that makes it hard to stand.) Despite this being common knowledge -it’s on bold stickers throughout most buses and tubes in London – no one actively makes an effort to stand and offer their chair when the time comes. They’re probably thinking ‘hmmm, if I give them my seat then I’ll have to stand on the bus for six stops and it’s already cramped as it is.’ In other words, the sacrifice causes discomfort they can anticipate coming, so to prevent that from being experienced they bypass the opportunity to be kind altogether. It’s quite sad to think about, especially when many actions like this are so easily done.

We should be actively looking for opportunities to help one another. That means being mindful of the environment around you – not just having headphones plugged in and oblivious to the world. I remember on a cold winter night last year running as fast as I could for a bus and missing it even though I was a few metres away. I was very annoyed and worried after that because the next bus wasn’t coming for a very long time. When I finally reached the bus stop I saw several people sitting down just completely unaware of my struggle, even though they may have seen me try to chase the bus. Imagine the difference to my night one of them may have made if they had done the simple gesture of holding the bus whilst I approached the bus stop? I don’t think it even occurred to one of them to do that but that’s what I mean by being active in looking for opportunities to help others. Sometimes you have to be creative, use initiative or go slightly beyond your realm of comfort.

If you’re so engrossed in looking at your nails or watching a YouTube clip, you may not notice that the person next to you is in need of help in some way. That’s because, nine times out of 10, people will not vocalise their need for help – body language and observation of unfolding events are needed to realise you may be needed in the moment. Even if you can’t help in that moment simply showing concern and asking ‘are you okay?’ or ‘are you in need of help?’ can be reassuring to someone. Especially in cities where selfishness breeds hostility, those words can be a pleasant breath of fresh air.

With this week marking the start of the new year – if you’re resolution list is looking empty, who not start simple and try to help more people this year?

*Photo by Vie Studio

Let 2025 commence!

Happy New Year everyone!

Here’s to more exciting moments.

Feelings of breath taking delight

Moments that make you laugh till you feel light, like you’re flying.

Moments that make you smile till all the muscles in your face start to quiver.

Moments that make the passing of time feel like a burden

Moments that make the beauty of life clear – even if it’s a revelation as a brief as a solar eclipse.

For new visitors to my blog – welcome! Apologies to my followers since I’ve admittedly been a bit absent from my site. Partly due to time constraints over the last few months. But also due to a weird writer’s block that likes to hold me hostage every now and then. My brain hasn’t been entirely devoid of ideas! However, the ideas are fleeting so I need to start writing them down very quickly! In my mind already, I’ve probably written a thousand posts. But according to my digital footprint I well…haven’t.

Hopefully this year I can let my bloggish thoughts *hold space* and convert them into article goodness for you to read. I’m aiming for one article a week, so watch this space. Do let me know if you would like to read anything in particular. I’ve noticed, for example, that my Netflix TV series reviews tend to do quite well, so I’ll try and write some more of those for you throughout the year!

The Cinema is Changing

The cinema is a magical place.

Even when I was younger, I thought this and the awe it inspires remains.

That feeling of taking a seat in the dark, clutching popcorn and a cold overly sugary drink – then letting yourself fall into the hands of a director as you step into the world, they’ve crafted in a production is unmatched. Yes, sometimes you may leave a little confused and/or disappointed (as is the case more and more often these days!) but that initial spark of excitement still remains regardless of the outcome.

As an adult in particular, I like that I have a reason to switch off my phone and dive into another world – even if it’s momentary. No distractions in view – just you and the film.

But. But. But.

WHEN DID CINEMAS START GETTING SO EXPENSIVE?? 😭

Going to a cinema in South London to watch The Colour Purple earlier this year, I was dumbstruck at how much I had to fork out. Between my friend and I, we paid £60.00 overall – half spent on the tickets and the other was the total expense for food. The price almost made me sick. It’s interesting this has become the case, considering that cinema, in my mind anyway, has always been a cheap form of entertainment for the masses.

And I’m aware many cinemas had a very tough time during the pandemic, so I wonder if this inflated pricing will compensate for this loss and slowly build back their status. Yet, it sucks they have to do this at the customer’s expense. These days even if it’s a film I know I would enjoy, I have to question if I really want to splash the money to do so. Or am I happy to wait a year before it’s shown on TV, or wait a few months until it inevitably hits streaming platforms?

This ranting post was inspired by me looking online recently at tickets to watch a film and being quoted nearly £20.00. Keep in mind if you buy snacks (sometimes sneaking them in doesn’t work!) you’re looking at spending around (£10 -12 more.) As you suspect – I looked at the price, blinked, and then closed the tab again.

Looks like the cinema won’t be seeing me for a while then.

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Are you a cinema lover? What was the last thing you saw?

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Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko

Bearer of Bad News

We always put replies off when they involve the slightest bit of negativity or confrontation.

“No”

“I don’t want to go.”

“I can’t make it but thank you.”

For me as an overthinker, I’m usually toying in my mind about the best way to phrase these replies so I don’t come across as brash, harsh or hurt the person they’re directed to in the process. The problem is that thinking process can become so consuming you forget to actually send the reply! Suddenly days have ended and a week and a half has gone by. Or the person nudges you and that feeling of dread arises.

It’s not like that for all of us, of course. Some people don’t really put much thought into it and can easily say ‘no’. I’m not sure what their secret is. Perhaps, there’s a level of detachment to the words they’re saying which they may have mastered over time and which makes it easier to reject or confront people. The medium of tech probably helps make that easier.

But them aside, the average person tends to fret when having to be the bearer of ‘bad’ news. I see this even with the way employers communicate. If they take a while to get back to you about, say a job (or another random query), it’s most likely a polite no. Sometimes they’ll have a template response they’ll send, at others they’ve taken a while to respond because they’re trying to find the right word combo which allows them to break the news to you.

Ideally, we need to start being more confident with relaying such messages and trust that the other person will read it and land on their feet, even despite some initial unhappiness.

I woke up and started my day a few months ago with some amazing clarity. I had a lot of conversations I needed to respond to, so I realised now is the time. My mind was buzzing with the rare desire to tackle those ‘difficult’ conversations that had long overdue answers.

A friend’s invitation and a few opportunities I needed to decline.

A guy who I was talking to on an app who I needed to give ‘we’re not on the same page so goodbye’ talk too.

All these difficult conversations? Done in a matter of minutes. It’s amazing how much you’re capable of once the things that make you procrastinate or fear those tasks disappear. I’ve had the longing to have such moments of clarity again but admittedly haven’t since.

Ah well. It was nice while it lasted, I guess.

Photo by Andre Taissin on Unsplash

Above the noise: exploring the Cocktail Party Effect

I CAN’T HEAR YOU.

You’re out with a friend, after months of wrangling each other’s diaries for a free date to meet and this is all you keep thinking about as you sit together in a restaurant trying to catch up. Imagine the frustration.

They’re probably telling you about a dramatic day in their job or something heartfelt their partner recently did and you can’t hear a single piece of juicy information because the music is too darn loud 😠. This has happened to me too many times to count in recent months, if not years. It’s gotten to the point where the other day I joked with someone that it seems like 90% of adult life is shouting above music to speak to people. Can’t remember too well but I suspect I shouted that joke above loud music (as if to prove my point is valid.)

This is a common scenario that creates what I’ve recently discovered is called ‘the cocktail party effect’ – the ability to follow and hear one noise amongst numerous others. The only problem these days is that this ‘effect’ is failing – people are not as capable of it as they once were. This article in I news, explores the problem and hints it may be a precursor to hearing loss. According to a study cited in the article, 70% of people have trouble hearing conversations in noisy places – with Gen Z being the worst affected. For me it’s become unbearable to the point I’ll sometimes just sit there helpless in a group and drink my drink, planning my exit, partly to preserve my social battery and partly because I can’t hear a darn thing anyway so what’s the point in speaking. I often see others leave bars and just end up talking in toilets or amongst smokers at bar entrances in a desperate effort to get a quiet place.

I went to an event last week that had NO music in the background (I know, the horror) during its duration and I remember feeling a strange sense of peace. Yes, it was still loud since voices were rising in the air. But was I straining my ears 110% to hear a single word above a Calvin Harris song? No, and it made a massive difference to the connections and conversations I was able to have that night.

The loud music as frustrating as it may be, many might feel like it’s needed. It sets ambiance, a fun mood for the place and the night, as you settle into your seats. What’s the alternative? Just…nothing? That could be more awkward. Although, I see this perspective and am happy with the presence of music, I simply think it could be tuned down a little bit, for the sake of our ears and sanity, please.

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PS: One thing I’ve heard does really help with this issue is ear plugs! I’ll likely be buying some soon, so I’m open to recommendations or any other tips you have for dealing with this.

Photo by Michael Discenza on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: The Beautiful game – from an outsider’s perspective

I don’t care much for football.* ⚽🚫👎🏾👎🏾

What can I say, it’s been the case for as long as I can remember. I know. Unheard of from someone from England. Nevertheless, it’s interesting to always watch and observe how it totally engulfs others when it’s on, especially in this country of mine.

Right now, as we speak – I’m half ‘watching’ the game (Euros 2024 Semi-finals. England vs Netherlands) with my brother as I write this. He’s eagerly watching each player’s move, his tenor voice reaching its highest pitch, all his bones wracked with anticipation, every time a goal is even close to being scored. It’s not necessarily a unique experience – probably, in fact mirrors what’s happening in several homes, courtyards and pubs across the country as they also watch the Euros this year too.

There are several dark sides to the game (think corruption, racism and violence), but when it uplifts the public, it does so like no other. Even when England recently qualified for the semi-finals, I felt the difference, the mist of optimism in the air. I, of course, initially had no clue what the source of this was (as someone who didn’t watch the match) but once I found out, it all made sense.

When you’re around people – the majority of who love football – it’s definitely easy to feel slightly left out, out of the loop – like you’re hearing the details of a party you weren’t invited to. People will recite team players and their stats from memory or ask the typical ‘Who do you support?’ and expect me to engage. However, there’s a maturity to being content in your dislike of things. The things you dislike or are passionate about will often not correlate with others, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. I personally, cannot convincingly fake interest when I know my heart isn’t truly in it, nor is my brain interested. It also doesn’t mean you need to go around making the extra effort to like said thing just because everyone else does. Life is too short for that.

*Or soccer, as my Northern American readers may be more familiar with calling it!

Photo by Peter Glaser on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: Love out loud

After the Good Friday church service a few months ago, I was chatting with some people from the church after having a meal together. A couple from church had kindly hosted us in their home and served a lovely English roast. The meal was finished so we were in that period where everyone was having chatter while letting the food in their stomach gracefully settle. In the middle of the conversation, one of the children of the adults at the table there burst into the room with an almost pained look on his face, filled with a sense of urgency. ‘DAD, DAD, DAD’

‘What is it, buddy?’ his dad responded.

‘I just wanted to say that I love you!’

It’s a heartwarming moment I still think about. At the time I just laughed since we all panicked originally at the child’s urgency, so the ‘I love you’ felt very cute (if not, a tad unexpected), but also anticlimactic.

It got me thinking though – are we loving the people around us in all the ways and languages we can?

There’s so much power in the verbal declaration of love. It’s one of the reasons weddings are so significant in the journey of a relationship and why they hold so much meaning. Don’t get me wrong, the words alone only hold true when actions correlate but just hearing those words can be soothing and settle the heart. Never assume people know, even those closest to you – they can sometimes, ironically, be the people who doubt you love them the most. And I’m of the opinion there should never be a day your love is doubted by those you believe deserve it most.

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How do you best make the people around you feel loved?

Photo by Oleg Laptev on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: When you need a friend

‘I miss the days when you could just go to friends’ houses and be welcomed’

Someone said something along those lines the other days and I immediately thought ‘I don’t’.

Imagine: you’ve just logged off after your last work meeting the day. Tired is not even the word for how you’re feeling. Dinner is ready and you already have a film in mind for the evening. JUST as you’re about to press play on the film – the doorbell rings.

I’m not even sure I was old enough to properly experience those days but imagine the hassle of having to welcome people into your home, unexpected and uninvited, at various hours of the day. Very stressful indeed. Particularly when you think about the energy and effort that often has to go into hosting people. It’s energy and effort I’m sure people these days are still willing to exert – just not without warning.

This sentiment plays into the wider idea that people are increasingly less accessible. And I suspect this is true. It’s ironic too considering we’re more well-connected tech-wise than we’ve ever been before. We’ve all had the scenario with someone close to us where you want to meet up with them and you have to flick through diaries – sometimes months ahead to find a feasible date that works for both of you. People in general have become less accessible and lonelier. Probably not a coincidence I suspect.

Even I often find having a social life, as much as I enjoy it, sometimes can feel like a part-time job. I’m always grateful once I’m around people but sometimes I feel like energy is always in short supply, particularly when social plans are made after work, which has used up all my energy – leaving me shattered and chewed out!

Back to this idea of accessibility though – I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing but it just depends on the level and frequency. For example, you may be inaccessible at certain points in a day or week and that’s fine, if not necessary for your sanity. Also, how do we define accessibility? Typically, how easy it is to get through to people by phone. This becomes a problem if you want to be accessible a lot because you feel you can’t really detach from your phone – always paranoid when you do THAT will be the moment someone has an emergency and needs you. Likely a delusional thought but one I have often, nonetheless.

Many people are actively trying to limit their screen time and I support this. In fact, I should probably jump on that train soon but for now, using do not disturb and making sure calls are scheduled (as opposed to spontaneous!) are my happy medium.

How do you manage your screen time and stay accessible to others? Any tips?

Photo by NoWah Bartscher on Unsplash

 Art is in the eye of the beholder: American Fiction – An honest review

I watched this film the other day, which had magically landed on Prime – a relief for me who, just a few weeks ago was about to fork out money to watch in the cinema. Since it won an Oscar this year (Best Adapted Screenplay) my expectations were naturally high – why not read on to find out if they were met 😉.

This film centres around academic, Theolonious (let’s call him Theo for short). Like most academics he writes books for income, as well as lectures. The problem with his most recent book idea? It hasn’t been picked up by publishers. At the start of the film, we seem him arguing with his colleague who boasts that in the time it’s taken Theo to write one book he’s published several.

At some point, he comes across author Sintara Golden, (played by Issa Rae), who has written a book which is received much praise. He scoffs, since he feels the book is stereotypical and essentially beneath him. But later, primarily as a joke, he decides to write a similar book. He leans on racial stereotypes to create a novel which he thinks as a Black man, the world would expect him to write, but which he refuses to. The problem is, it’s floated past publishers and they LOVE it. What unfolds next is an amusing unravelling, as Theo is forced to ride out his lie, the more popular this book – which he doesn’t even like – becomes more popular in the literary community.

My take

There’s so much to dive into around this film – it makes rich material for a post-film discussion, I would say. A key theme that runs throughout is if it’s possible to be a successful artist and not compromise on your vision. The author Sintara’s book has received much acclaim for a book which focuses on what would be seen as stereotypically Black content. In other words features what Blackness might look like from a white perspective. When we hear her reading out an excerpt of the book at an event Theo is at, it’s in a broken type of English, reminiscent of Celie’s voice in The Colour Purple. An indicator that her Black characters are uneducated.

Her book’s acclaim, Theo would very much like to have but as a novelist who refuses to compromise, he doesn’t (much to his agent’s anguish). Well, that’s until his satirical novel unexpectedly takes off! There’s an interesting scene with Theo and Sintara which captures this theme well. Where he asks her about her book and what he sees as is ‘Black trauma porn’ nature. She eventually says something along the lines of – ‘you have to give the people what they want’. What I took from that, if you’re an artist living under capitalism and your art is your income, unless incredibly lucky in some way, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to create art that just pleases YOU. You’ll have to be thinking about the demand for your art and audience; all of which will dictate how it’s received. Essentially, you’re creating a product.

In the same scene with Theo and Sintara – Theo confides to Sintara that he wasn’t a big fan of her book, simply because he feels like it leans into a singular narrative told around Black people that he feels is overdone. There’s so many other experiences to write stories about! Sintara points out, that she actually put a lot of hard work and research into the book. Plus, Black people do suffer, so that narrative will always need to be told, and in doing so relate to many. I found this to be an interesting discussion, mainly because both have valid points, although I lean more toward Theo’s perspective in this instance.

Other thoughts

These days with many films, I find myself either captivated by the characters or storyline but rarely both. In this case, it was the latter – the storyline had me fairly invested but the characters, not so much. I struggled to reconcile, all Theo’s family stuff (he has a fairly tumultuous relationship with his brother, his father is dead and his mother is recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s) with all the shenanigans happening with his book. My inkling is that maybe they aren’t meant to be reconciled and if so – fair enough. I guess the idea is that seeing scenes with his family allows us to make better sense of Theo’s character – see him beyond his literary ambitions and rage at the system.

Overall…

7.5/10 – It has a level of absurdity to it that I liked and got used to over time – it even got an occasional laugh from me (even though comedy isn’t its main focus). It also covered a lot of interesting themes smartly, so I appreciated that.

You can watch the trailer here.

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Have you watched the film? Let’s compare notes – let me know what you think 😊