Tag: TOTD

Thought of the Day: City or countryside?

Posted on by Han_A

Do you fancy yourself more as a city or countryside type of person? I say this as someone, a city girl, who has spent the week retreating in the latter. I stayed in a comfy lodge with a hot tub, surrounded by English greenery, sky and sheep. 🐑

Photo from this week’s trip in Hampshire (SE England) .

At my heart, I think I enjoy the hustle and bustle of the city – the endless things to do and see constantly sweeping you off your feet. But every now and then I find myself worn out by this exact thing that often energises me and need to dip out for a change of scenery. It was nice to sit on a patio, look up at the sky and see stars shining in all their glory.

I do wonder, though when I’m older if things will change and I’ll want time to slow down and relax since it gets harder and harder to do so with city and living. I find that I crave time to look back and savour memories but want to balance that with not wasting a day of life, and making new great ones! Is it just me? 😅🤔 Feel free to comment below if you relate.

Thought of the Day: Creativity is dead

Posted on by Han_A

When I’m working my way through a period of writer’s block sometimes, I become disillusioned with creativity. Have we reached the peak of it? Is there any such thing as a new idea? Is there anything new I have to say that hasn’t been said a million times before?

It probably doesn’t help when I listen to new music and start to feel that all songs sound the same. Just sampling and remixing old songs to a new funky beat. You hear the beginning and think ‘oh, it’s that song‘ and then it’s not, it’s in fact a different song completely. Sure, it does create something new but to some extent, it feels like its originality is tainted in a way. Some do say, when it comes to music there’s only so many chords so it’s inevitable things will start to sound the same over time.

Similarly, the overuse of cliches in TV and film does make me wonder if the era of original characters and plot lines has disappeared. Are we forever going to have romcoms that recycle the same ‘enemies to lovers’ plot line? Or the plot line where they pretend to be a couple and end up eventually falling in love? How much of the same recycled ideas can we keep consuming without fatigue?

Anyway, it doesn’t look completely hopeless and every time I consume something new and original that I like, I have hope. Whether, that’s a new song, book, film or show. My current watch on Netflix, They Cloned Tyrone – is a very wacky, sci-fi watch that is unlike anything I’ve seen before and such originality has proven refreshing if anything.

What I’ve realised is that not every story has been told, and life, in all its richness, provides us with a wealth of ideas to spin into creative, artistic gold. In particular, there are so many stories from marginalised communities and overshadowed periods of history that have not yet gotten the exposure they deserve. We’re only just starting to see these stories and art receive the limelight they deserve, so despite my doom-and-gloom rant at the start, it is indeed also an exciting time to be consuming art.

On a related note, there are so many independent artists out there with talent and unique ideas that aren’t getting the shine they deserve. It’s unfortunately creativity in the mainstream that tends to recycle old ideas and be formulaic. The main reason for that? Money. I recall reading a tweet where someone said even though cliches are bad, we keep using them because they work. They still garner interest and generate money for Hollywood, production companies, etc. It’s why it’s important for us to support independent talent and content – whether it’s short films or web series you find on YouTube or artists you find on Instagram.

______

Photo by AbsolutVision on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: The hidden scars of words

Posted on by Han_A

We probably don’t think enough about how our words interact with our memory and consequently shape our lives. Someone can say something and even if it’s something said mindlessly or off the cuff, someone around them may remember it for a lifetime. It’s quite scary to think about really, and makes you realise communication in any form comes with a heavier sense of responsibility than we think.

To provide a brief example, I remember watching an episode of The Simpsons where Marge takes her daughter Lisa on a shopping trip to try some clothes on. When Lisa comes out the of changing room in an outfit, Marge in passing makes a comment about her body which was clearly said with no malice, but throughout the rest of the episode, we see it starts to trigger insecurities about her body that Lisa never had before. There was a memorable scene where they show what it looks like inside Lisa’s mind. It’s a land of fields and clear blue skies and fairies. But when her mum makes that comment the word becomes a stone statue in the middle of that land, taking up room and spoiling the landscape, which was once peaceful.

However, towards the end of the episode, we see that even most of the adults in Springfield (the town where The Simpsons live) have been scarred in the past by something said to them – with that one word now following them around, a stone statue in their own minds. Marge in particular had been scarred by something her own mum said to her so the incident with Lisa was almost like a subtle cycle which she had continued, unintentionally, of course.

The ability to easily detach ourselves from our words is probably how some bullies sleep well at night. They just speak as they wish, unaware of the harm they do with their harsh words on a regular basis to those around them. Whatever end we are on when it comes to harsh words – whether we say them or receive them, we need to be better at reflecting on things said and speaking up. Whether it’s saying ‘sorry’ or ‘the way you said that made me feel comfortable/hurt me/was disrespectful’ we need to communicate to lessen potential damage which could trickle into the future. I mean, you can’t get a refund on words or turn back time – but that’s the next best thing!

Thought of the Day: Hindsight is always 20/20

Posted on by Han_A

There is a power in the passing of time. Moments and memories that were once fragile or sore scabs in the mind, heal with time. I find the that ultimate sign of this happening successfully is when you can look back at a once painful or embarrassing moment and laugh at it. It no longer has a hold on you, its grip loosening with each laugh.

Similarly, choices that were not so wise can be viewed with clarity when once upon a time reflection was too painful or you were blinded with regret. Former contestant from popular Netflix reality TV show, Love is Blind, Iyanna on a podcast talked about this when asked about her relationship with the person she was married to on the show. They’ve now split up but reflecting on the relationship as time has gone by has helped her realise and notice things she didn’t before. In a way, it has unexpectedly helped her healing journey. Time passing allows you to find perspective, and see the memory from a different point of view. Yes, time doesn’t heal all scars but there’s something beautiful about its ability to aid the process.

However, it does mean in the process of going through difficult or uncomfortable times patience is needed. There will be a time you’ll look back on that particular period and only gain strength from it. From the fact you endured and came out the other side, despite the fact you thought it may not be possible. Or perhaps you may look back and think ‘Thank God I’m not there anymore’ and, to be honest, that’s okay too.

*Photo by Thomas Grams on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: What women want

Posted on by Han_A

We live in a society with a lot of options so I often feel the weight of indecision when going into certain situations. For example, you go to the supermarket to buy crackers and cheese and you’re faced with about 25 brands of crackers alone (like, why?) However, there are times when you may go guns blazing into a situation, knowing exactly what you want. And it’s VERY annoying in those circumstances when you make it crystal clear what you want and it’s still doubted for some reason.

You say ‘no’ and people think ‘ahh, she just means ‘not yet’.

You say ‘no’ and people think ‘she’ll say yes with a bit of persuading.’

And why? What part of ‘no’ or a ‘yes’ is so confusing? This often happens, surprise surprise, to women because God forbid they be highly rational or know what they want when they make decisions. It’s why we have to give credit to female entrepreneurs and CEOs – I honestly can’t imagine how often they face this issue on a regular basis and yet they still make moves and get things done. It must be tiring, constantly jumping through hoops and hoping people take your decisions at face value.

Anyway, that rant is to segue into my recent story of a grapple with customer services this week. I decided to save some money and cancel a subscription from a certain well-known British TV service provider. I made this very clear when I called – the automatic voice when you call customer services asks the purpose of your call and then so does the human adviser when you finally get through to one. For a straightforward request, I was shocked to find myself on the phone for over an hour trying to cancel my subscription. I was forwarded to three or four people, all as unhelpful as the other. In fact, they were even trying to sell me MORE things during the call (can you believe it?) The cheek. During and after the call I was fuming – it was a hairpulling experience, to say the least. I finished that call unsuccessful with my request. I decided the next day to call again and go in guns blazing, being very clear about what I wanted. I think I even said something along the lines of ‘Can we make this process quick please since I’m working and don’t have much time to spend on this.’ Result? A shorter call overall and my cancellation was successful.

The moral of that story isn’t to be rude to customer service but sometimes being firm and repetitive about what you want can never hurt.

_____

Read more about my ramblings with customer services in this previous post.

______

Photo by Negative Space

Thought of the Day: Everywhere all at once

Posted on by Han_A

Every now and then you get asked the age-old cliché ice breaker of ‘If you could pick one superpower would it be?’ Most people turn to a typical few answers – being invisible, being able to read people’s thoughts, and so on. Even I usually say to fly (typically accompanied by the joke that I’ll save a fortune on travelling, especially around London because it’s never been a cheap endeavour.) However, do you know what one power is underrated? Being able to duplicate/clone yourself. I mean yes, it’s a bit of a scary prospect but for me, that’s outweighed by its various and obvious benefits.

One thing that can be stressful about trying to organise your social calendar is when things conflict – two parties at the same time, someone having a dinner whilst you’re on holiday. Most of the time you equally want to go to both and can imagine you’ll enjoy whichever one you choose which makes it more painful that you can’t be at both places at once. To avoid stress and keep some integrity, my general rule at the moment on such occasions is that I’ll try and honour the first commitment I make. It makes things easier practically but emotionally it can sometimes still be hard to reject something else.

On the other hand, if you could duplicate yourself, imagine the possibilities. Double the experiences and knowledge at all times! One of me could be working full time and my clone could be exploring the world, ticking country after country off my bucket list. Time is such a rare commodity these days, perhaps you could slowly claw some of it back as you strategically use your clones(s) to attend events on your behalf.

I’ll end by bringing this post down to Earth because, of course, I know no one can duplicate themselves (if you can, please comment below and make yourself know😁.) And to some extent, there are benefits behind this limitation – because our time and where we can be at any one time is limited, it makes how we spend it more meaningful. When you go to a friend’s birthday or housewarming do, for example, it makes it more meaningful to know that you could have been anywhere else but decided to not go to those and instead came to support/spend time with you.

_____

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Thought of the day: The Sick diaries

Posted on by Han_A

The power the sun can have over your day is quite phenomenal. I’ll give you some more context. At the moment as I type, in the UK it’s a Saturday following Good Friday, which it’s a national Bank Holiday, it’s not the hottest, temperature-wise, according to Bing (I mean, 11 degrees is so and so) but the sun is shining beautifully and unapologetically. Looking and feeling the brightness of it can’t help but make you feel happier, even if by just a smidgen.

It’s been a long few winter months of dire weather and storms so to see the sun grace us with its presence again is exciting and hopefully a snippet into what will be a lovely, warm Spring and Summer for this country this year. (Or one can only hope at least!)

To be honest, I feel slightly like a fraud since I’ve been in and out of bed all day and yesterday. The closest I’ve gotten to the sun today is looking out my kitchen window every now and then. I have no plans today and my coughing fits make me feel like staying inside these four walls is my best option for the next couple of days, so that may have to unfortunately be my plan.

I have a tickly, dry chesty cough which is not going away as fast as I would like but is at the moment bearable. Over this week (which is when it started) I’ve desperately been doing every home remedy known to man – ginger shots, tea, Lemsip (which is just awful by the way), inhaling steam, Vaporrub, lemon juice, etc. I’m not a scientist on any level but I suspect none of those things have really helped exactly. That’s the annoying but also humbling thing about illnesses, isn’t it– they move on their own timeline, and they really don’t care about yours.

Without sounding too dramatic I knew the sniffles (most likely a cold) were coming my way soon since pretty much everyone around me had it, so it would have been a miracle if I survived ungrazed. I read it should go away in about 2-3 weeks (which sounds a bit long too me ☹) so I’m just praying and holding tight. In the meantime, I think I have permission to wallow in my illness and laziness and feel sorry for myself as I recover.

____

Hope you’ve had a good week so far!

Current watches: BEEF on Netflix, Love is Blind (season 4) on Netflix.

*Photo by Masaaki Komori on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: Believing in good days

Posted on by Han_A

Recently I’ve been thinking more about the ‘science’ (for lack of a better word) behind a bad day. Is purely it psychological, triggered by a series of external events or a perhaps mixture of both? Perhaps it works sometimes more like a self-fulfilling prophecy where if you think ‘oh boy, this day is gonna be bad’, it ends up being one?

My thinking down this ‘good day’ rabbit hole got me thinking about my previous post about being a morning person. Update from that post – I’m still not one so the struggle continues (I know, very sad.) However, I have started to realise the role mornings play in really helping set the tone for the day. The time to meditate, pray and do the occasional stretch (if I’m lucky) can really be a game-changer.

Of course, it may be possible to still start your morning right and have unfortunate series of events still warp your day into an unenjoyable one but there’s not much you can do about that.

When you’re lost in the heavy fogginess of a bad day it’s easy to mentally checkout and feel like you might as well as strap yourself for a day that is going downhill. At your lowest, you develop the opposite of rose-coloured glasses and start to feel mentally that your energy and patience levels are draining away. I would say planning little pockets of joy throughout a bad day is vital. These are just small things to look forward to and keep you going. Maybe it’s ensuring you listen to your favourite podcast or playlist as you work, saying a little prayer or texting a friend you know you can rely on for a dose of humour. Often when I’m stressed or feeling quite overwhelmed when I work, I’ll blast on some guilty pleasure tunes and let them fill the room. I know I can also always rely on a few close people to fill me with encouragement if I confide in them about the struggles I’m having that day. Sometimes it’s tough love but ultimately it’s good to get a different perspective since maybe the solution to turning your day around is easier than we think.

And for those reading this struggling with this week, wondering if good days are coming/ever returning, I promise you, they are. I can’t predict when but they’re coming so hold tight!

*Photo by Maria Oswalt on Unsplash

Thought of the Day: Breaking the IG façade

Posted on by Han_A

Not every moment you experience will be IG perfect and that’s okay. You’ll be surprised how averse people are to experiencing moments in their raw unfiltered beauty these days. Instead, because of social media, many think of every moment they experience as a potential social media post. Is this Instagram-worthy? And if not, what can I do to ensure that it is? What should the caption be? And so on. It’s fairly common for people to go a location (supposedly for leisure) and then when it comes to taking photos instead of few natural snaps to memorialise the moment it becomes this eventually stressful endeavor to capture the perfect like-worthy shot.

I knew things were very much going downhill when people a year or two ago criticised an influencer who got engaged. She showed an obligatory photo of the engagement ring on her hand and instead of sharing her joy – as she probably assumed would be the response – many people focused on the fact her nails weren’t manicured in the photo. Since then, it’s been a running joke for many people that their partners should give them a heads-up before a proposal so they can get their nails done. What should be a romantic, intimate moment is now, for the most part transformed by this overwhelming desire to ensure the moment is approved by the numerous unknown eyes viewing it on their timeline. A bit of a shame if you ask me.

This is why, a friend and I concluded over brunch recently, not everything needs to be posted on your socials. It’s very tempting, and I can admit I do fall into this trap more often than none. I’ll be bopping to music playing at a gig and think to myself, ‘I should probably post something on my story’. As if people actually care. Regardless of if they do or don’t, the moral of this story is sometimes you just need to put your phone down and enjoy the moment.

*Photo by Omkar Patyane: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-using-smartphone-238480/

Thought of the Day: Built to Last

Posted on by Han_A

Don’t you miss the days when things were built sturdy, to stand through tough times? To be fair, I’m quite young so maybe I don’t recall much of ‘those days’ but I do remember things like the solid old-school Nokia phones which could survive through any roughs and tumbles thrown their way. Back in school as a teenager, I recall one of my friends telling the story of how she washed her clothes only to eventually look through the washing machine door with dread and helplessness as she realised her phone was in one of the pockets. Long story short – the phone (a Nokia or Sony Erikson I believe) survived.

Of course, they don’t build phones – or literally any product – like that anymore. I mean even the new houses being built across London look a bit suspect compared to their older, Victorian counterparts.

These days it appears price does not always mean longevity so it can be hard to tell what would be a wise investment and what would last longest. Product warranties are getting shorter and shorter – for one, it really doesn’t make sense that you can spend over a grand on a phone – quite a hefty investment for some of us! – that only has a one-year warranty (Yes, Apple I’m looking at you). On top of that, the business models of brands like Apple mean that they start to phase out phones really quickly and at an increasingly fast pace. Your phone may have come out 2-4 years ago and suddenly it’s out of date and barely being sold in shops anymore. So even if you tried to be rebellious, and hold onto your phone as long as you can, you’ll end up being forced to get a new one sooner or later because Apple will stop providing security software support and updates general updates to your phone. This makes your phone vulnerable to attacks or the work of hackers (which I’m sure noooo-one wants.) Such is the capitalist system we live in!

I say that but then again there are brands out there known for their quality products which often then to be very endurant – i.e. Dr. Martins and Birkenstocks. I invested in both this past year and think I’ll be trying to continue to try and intentionally invest more in such brands because, let’s be honest, the hassle of replacing things that break unexpectedly or/and very inconveniently can be stress we really don’t need more of in this life.

If you’re interested in doing the same you may be interested in this Youtube channel which covers this topic. The couple also has a new related channel you can check out here.

I also have a previous blog post on sustainability here which you may fancy reading too 🙂 .

*Photo by Eirik Solheim on Unsplash